Source Text
For my beloved Michèle, who won’t let me be anything less than my best self. And for the clients and coaches I have been privileged to work with, who let me coach from my essence.
Goose in a Bottle
Clients come to you because they don’t like where they are, or they don’t know how to get to some place they’d rather be. And there are good reasons for their dissatisfaction or confusion.
Okay. I don’t know the Zen answer, but here’s one answer: Break the fucking bottle. Who says you have to follow the rules? Where do the rules come from anyway? All those beliefs about who you are and what will make you happy, what success looks like, and all your fears about failure and what you have to do to avoid it—that’s your bottle. All those beliefs you have about what coaching is and who you are as a coach, and how to create a practice you love—those, too, are your bottle. Think you can only charge like a therapist, maybe a couple hundred dollars a session? Bottle. Think you can only charge by the session, not on retainer? Bottle. Think you can’t charge money if you’re a new coach? Bottle. Think you shouldn’t coach for free? Bottle. Think you need to be certified to be a coach? Bottle. Think you need a degree to be a coach? Bottle. Think you need to be older, more experienced, a white male, etc., to coach executives or be a successful coach? B-O-T-T-L-E. We help clients break their bottles. This book will show you how to break your bottle.
II Paths and Quests We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. —Joseph Campbell
Paths and Quests Let’s keep this simple. All you’re trying to do is get from A … to B.
A is where you are now. B is what you want to create.
To get to B, you first need to know what B is. That requires clarity. Getting clear about B is a better place to start than A. B is where you want to be, and where you want to be shouldn’t be limited by where you are. Once you know where you want to be, it’s helpful to know where you are. That requires honesty. You have to tell the truth about A.
What’s the most important thing you want to create in your life right now? What’s your B? Now, if you’ve thought of something that you want to create in your life, something that’s important to you, we have to ask, Where did that B come from? Have you ever had your heart broken? I’ve posed this question to numerous audiences. Everyone raises their hand. But the real question is, What did you learn from heartbreak?
We choose what to learn from our experiences. Sometimes we choose the wrong lesson. Maybe it’s the right lesson—at the time—but the lesson becomes obsolete. We have experiences, decide what they mean, and then create our future based on those choices. In other words, most of the time we’re actually creating the future from the past.
AI Summary
Coaching From Essence by Robert Ellis presents key insights from the Zen tradition. The 10 passages above capture the essential teachings.
Core Themes:
- [To be expanded]
Key Passages: Highlights 1, 3, and 10 are particularly representative.
This entry was generated from Readwise highlights. Expand with additional context as appropriate.