(The diet cycle and the dieter’s psychology)
Ironically, we seem to have more respect for our cars than for ourselves.
“Be sure to tell them that if they have a binge, it can actually turn out to be a great experience, because they’ll learn so much about their thoughts and feelings as a result of the binge.”
“Sometimes I get angry, because food has lost its magic. Nothing tastes quite
as good as it did when it was forbidden. I kept looking for the old thrill that food used to give me until I realized that my excitement in life wasn’t going to come from my eating anymore.”
“With permission, comes choice. And making choices based on what I want and not on what somebody else is telling me, feels so empowering.”
• “After giving up bingeing, I ended up feeling pretty low some of the time and even rageful at other times. I realized that the food was covering up my bad feelings. But it was also covering up my good feelings. I’d rather feel good and bad rather than not feeling at all!”
Better eat now, it’s the last chance. Not surprisingly, the Professional Dieter gets frustrated at the futility of the vicious cycle. Diet, lose weight, gain weight, binge intermittently, and go back to dieting.
paired eating—which is eating and doing another activity at the same time, such as watching television and eating, or reading and eating. Because of the subtleties, and lack of awareness, it can be difficult to identify this eating personality. There are many subtypes of Unconscious Eaters.
The Unconscious Eater is often engaged in
Intuitive Eaters march to their inner hunger signals, and eat whatever they
choose without experiencing guilt or an ethical dilemma.
(Reclaiming intuitive signals: hunger, taste, and satiety buried by dieting)
Fortunately, we all possess the natural intuitive eating ability; it’s just been suppressed, especially by dieting.
It’s not unusual to find that you eat to comfort, distract, or even numb yourself from your feelings. If that’s the case, you will sense that the quality of your life has been clouded by obsessional thinking about food and by mindless eating.
You will go through a phase of hyperconsciousness to help reacquaint yourself with your intuitive signals: hunger, taste preferences, and satiety.
In this stage, you’ll begin to make peace with food by giving yourself unconditional permission to
and true food preferences.) You will learn to honor your hunger and recognize your body signals that indicate the many degrees of hunger. You will learn to separate these biological signals from the emotional signals that might also trigger eating. In this stage, you may find that you are eating larger quantities of foods than your body needs.
If you have been using food emotionally, you may find that you will begin to feel your feelings and may experience discomfort, sadness, or even depression at times.
The way you eat during this stage will not be the pattern that you will establish or want for a lifetime. You will notice that your nutritional balance is off kilter and you may not feel physically on top of things during this time. This is all normal and expected. You must let yourself go through this stage
(Rebuilding trust: each meal a pearl, exercise for feeling not burning)
You are rebuilding positive food experiences, like a strand of pearls. Each food experience, like each pearl, may seem insignificant, but collectively they make a difference.
Exercise will no longer be used as a driving force to burn more calories; rather, you become committed to exercise as a way to feel better, physically and mentally. Likewise, nutrition will no longer be another mechanism for making you feel bad about the way you eat; instead, it becomes a path to feeling as physically good and healthy as you can.
This is also a prevailing attitude among our clients and many Americans—all you need is willpower and a little self-control.
• The moment a forbidden food is eaten, overeating takes place. • The moment a calorie level is exceeded, overeating takes place. • The mere perception of breaking a food rule or eating a forbidden food triggers overeating.
The Key: Unconditional Permission To Eat
• Eating without obligatory penance. (“Okay, I can have the cheesecake now, but tomorrow I diet.”) These kinds of personal food deals are not unconditional.
On the first day, people typically load up their plates and grab three or four desserts. By the last day, however, they are choosing their food selectively. The novelty has worn off, and they know there is plenty of food.
The only way that you will come to believe that you will be able to stop eating is to go through the food experience, to actually eat. That’s why we are fond of the word “process.”
You cannot have an eating experience through knowledge; rather, you need to go through it, bite by bite.
it’s helpful to do something to make it a conscious act, such as gently nudging the plate forward half an inch or putting their utensils or napkin on their plate. This simply reminds them of their decision.
• Make time to appreciate your food. Give yourself a distinct time allowance for a meal. Even fifteen minutes is better than nothing.
Take several deep breaths before you begin to eat. Deep breathing helps to calm and center
ten being the most. Then stop halfway through eating the food and check your taste buds. Finally, rate the food when you’re down to the last bite. You’re likely to find that the numbers diminish along with the food.
(Guilt and shame as the real barrier: why pleasure must be protected)
The eating experience itself, especially overeating, evokes feelings, and those feelings can affect your ability to eat normally. One of the most detrimental feelings that overeating can stir up is guilt and shame. Studies have shown that although you might have immediate emotional comfort from eating, the negative rush of guilt that bursts forth is powerful enough to completely wipe out the relief.
living. Don’t underestimate the importance of pleasing your palate.
Punishment Sometimes, eating for the purpose of sedation becomes so frequent and intense that self-blame ensues and ultimately triggers punishing behaviors. Clients find themselves eating large quantities of food in an angry, forceful manner that allows them to feel beaten up. This is the most severe form of emotional eating and can lead to loss of self-esteem and to self-hatred.
of eating when you’re not biologically hungry, then there’s a good chance that you are using food to cope.
The notion of going on a diet can trigger feelings of hope. This is one of the reasons why dieting is so alluring.
Habitually eating to soothe what ails you can evolve into a problem with food.
Yet, in most individuals, biological mechanisms associated with stress turn off the desire to eat.
hour traffic or to flee from a deadline, but you don’t need the extra blood sugar that the stress reaction provides. Where does it go? If you don’t use it (in the way of physical activity), excess blood sugar gets converted to
Write out your feelings. • Call a friend and talk about your feelings. • Talk about your feelings into a tape recorder. • Just sit with your feelings and experience them if you can. • Talk to a counselor or a psychotherapist.
• Getting sensual pleasure • Expressing feelings • Being heard, understood, and accepted • Being intellectually and creatively stimulated
(Emotional eating as a signal: unmet needs food cannot fill)
Overeating is simply a sign that stresses in your life at that moment surpass the coping mechanisms that you have developed.
When you find this happening, it may be a signal for you to reevaluate your life and find ways to put more balance into it. If you don’t make these necessary changes, food remains important by filling an unmet need.