Source Text
The main problem with the first edition of Lovebliss was that simple, or basic, Self-realization (without Shakti) is void and without bliss. It is simply nothing. If you have an awakened kundalinī and habitually merge with bliss in meditation, then Self-realization will be lovebliss, as it was for me.
The center of the eye turned out to be a blue pearl. Finally, I entered the blue pearl and found myself in an infinite cyan-blue space that was Pure Being, consciousness and pure bliss at the same time. I knew I could stop there, but the longing for God exploded in me and filled everything, Then, out of the blue (literally), a Blue Being emerged. I knew this was God appearing to me, so I surrendered to Him and we merged, then I lost consciousness.
When I opened my eyes, I was in love with God in everything. I saw God in everything.
“you don’t get rid of it by killing yourself”. It was true, my depression of having lost God, and of being totally different from everybody else, had driven me to a point of wanting to commit suicide. Not that I would ever have done it, but still, the desire to die was strong in me.
I immediately entered nirvikalpa samādhi and lost consciousness. I do not know how long I sat there, but when I opened my eyes, the table was made by someone else. Also, my small self had vanished; I was completely nothing, yet full of extreme bliss and love for my guru. So I staggered to his room with my eyes full of tears.
Then he asked me what my name was. I tell you, I could not say. I tried my best, but no name popped up and the truth is, I found the question supremely ridiculous, since I was Pure Being, and not some personality. I told him I could not remember.
I sat there overwhelmed with my memories, but clearly remembered having been the pupil of a great master in a former life. One that I had tragically left in scorn. Maybe I will reveal the names some day, but not now.
My identification mechanism had broken down and it has never returned. I had become Self-realized, but did not consciously acknowledge it!
Sometimes those who sat in meditation next to me would suddenly burst into tears or into fits of laughter. I have taught a considerable number of people to enter samādhi and experience the bliss of the Self.
I got frustrated that my meditation was going nowhere, even though I was experiencing tremendous bliss. I initiated people with my Shakti. All of that worked very well. One, whom I initiated, even fainted during the initiation and was gone for half an hour.
AI Summary
Lovebliss by Jan Esmann presents key insights from the contemplative tradition. The 10 passages above capture the essential teachings.
Core Themes:
- [To be expanded]
Key Passages: Highlights 1, 3, and 10 are particularly representative.
This entry was generated from Readwise highlights. Expand with additional context as appropriate.