(Gerald’s six-hour daily meditation discipline and the guru’s first impression)
Gerald had already started his own drastic program of self-preparation; every day he sat for three two-hour periods of meditation—in the early morning, around noon, and in the early evening. During these six hours he was engaged, as far as I could gather, in somehow fixing his thoughts upon what he called “this thing”—“this thing” being the source of inner peace which he was trying to contact.
He talks gently and persuasively. His smile is extraordinary. It is somehow so touching, so open, so brilliant with joy that it makes me want to cry.
He answered, “You must be like the lotus on the pond. The lotus leaf is never wet.” I said I was afraid of attempting to do too much, because, if I failed, I should be discouraged. He said, “There is no failure in the search for God. Every step you take is a positive advance.”
(What meditation does that autosuggestion cannot, and the lotus of the heart)
Meditation makes you see something you don’t expect to see. Autosuggestion produces different results in each individual. Meditation produces the same result in all individuals.
“Imagine that there is a cavity within you. In the middle of this cavity there is a throne, in the form of a red lotus. In the middle of this lotus, a golden light is burning. Approach this light and say ‘Oh Self, reveal Yourself to me.’”
Both softening and hardening of the heart can become vicious. I begin to understand what Eliot means in Ash Wednesday: “Teach us to care and not to care.”
The first ten or fifteen minutes are the worst, because they are a conscious effort. Then, as Sudhira puts it, “the thing begins to say itself.” You find yourself changing gear from one inflection to another.
He nearly chokes with laughter at his own jokes,