(The exhausting cycle of failed spiritual discipline)
Then it would stop. I would get sick, or someone in my family would get sick. Anything could throw me off this discipline, really: vacation, holidays, a late night out, kids, dogs, work, laziness. I feel disappointed in myself again. I just can’t do it. I’m not a good Christian.
There’s nothing wrong with practical tools; achievement isn’t inherently connected with the spiritual disciplines. When I get stuck in the repeating cycle of quiet time, chaotic day, oversleep, guilty day, and over and over again it goes, I don’t need a sticker chart. I need a soul at rest. I need the living God. This book is for people who are tired and weary of charts and checklists, or more specifically they’re tired of failing at all of that. They don’t want to add to their pile of partially-filled-out planners. This is for people who are ragged. This book is for the people who are tired of the guilt and have started to believe they don’t have the personality or aptitude to be who God expects them to be.
besides mumbling a guilty resolution: “I should probably do better.”
It’s our fault, or our family’s fault, or our job’s fault. Life becomes an endless stream of guilt and anger because of the dissonance in our lives—what we say is the most important to us doesn’t appear to be the same on a day-to-day basis.
(God is not a slot on the schedule — he interrupts our striving)
We need to know that the question of “how much time with God is enough?” is completely the wrong question, and we need to discover the right questions.
Must you do all of these things? Let’s be honest, we don’t need any more things on our to-do lists. We need more God, not more clutter. Most of us don’t live the monastic life, but we do have vocations within God’s kingdom, and people who depend on us. I want to share with you many more ways God intends to work in your life without restricting your spiritual growth to 15 sacred minutes in the morning. God is working all the time and in various ways. When we recognize all the tools he has given us, and how he walks alongside us, the question is no longer “how much is enough?” Instead, we begin to recognize how holistic and practical “God-with-us” actually is. God is no longer a slot on our schedules, so we’re not being graded on the size of the slot. God often disrupts our schedules, interrupts our plans, and shows us the folly of our so-called quest for perfection so that we can learn once again that we are not performing for him. We are learning to depend on him, because that is where power and healing are. God will disrupt our striving towards our own ideal perfection as many times as he needs to in order to teach us to take our eyes off ourselves and look at him.
We fear that he is in control because it means we’re not. If we are totally honest, the idea that he is in control scares us.
We would like to grow in Christ, at our pace, keeping a close eye on our comfort levels. We know our limits, and we aren’t sure God does.
Spiritual disciplines do not call us to monastic life by ourselves. They call us to communal life. Life in Christ cannot be separated from being a part of the body.
(Discipline as training in dependence, not achievement)
Spiritual maturity isn’t pious independence from God, but a deeper dependence on him. The Christian life is to sink into his sufficiency, not prove we can do it on our own. When I realized how independently I was trying to live my life, I started seeing how much I had taken upon myself to prove to myself and others that I was holy. I started to spend a lot of time just sitting and reflecting on how incredibly needy I am. I became desperate to get more of God in my life … more of God’s word in my life.
Discipline doesn’t mean punishment. Jesus took all of our punishment upon himself. Discipline is training, provided by God, for our good, training us to understand our rights and freedoms as his child. It is not something that earns our favor with God. Rather, it is participating in relationship with him as his child. It is a sign of our restoration, not pre-qualification of our restoration.
every angle. The spiritual disciplines are the holy-therapy exercises to ground us in the reality of God’s sufficient work. They are the recovery work on our human souls traumatized by the Fall (Gen. 3). They don’t earn us grace. They awaken us to the reality of grace.
Scripture never displays the spiritual disciplines in a legalistic fashion. You won’t find a list with details of how much, how long, or how often you must practice meditation, or prayer, or lament. They’re just a part of life. The Holy Spirit will offer these things to you for each situation, as needed. He calls us to participate in our restoration, not contribute to our restoration.
If you have your life together, and you don’t need any help, and you’re interested in just polishing up here and there, you’re going to have a tough time understanding why God came at all, which is the crux of Christianity. A rich spiritual life isn’t something we produce; it comes, but from a source outside of us. We were made with lungs formed of dirt, and the air we breathe is given from God.
probably should read my Bible.” “I probably should pray.” We often name these tasks with the boredom and monotone voice of a teenager asked to do the dishes. Other times, it’s an ache for nourishment that goes unfulfilled, as we try to hide our poverty. “I wish I could …”
I never asked that question for years. I just assumed that there was an ever-present “more” that I was not doing. I suppose what I wanted most of all was to look back on my life, and to know that I was faithful. I didn’t want regrets.
higher they get, the farther they fall. Trying to leave the cavern of their own strength, through the air shaft is impossible. But they can see it. They can feel it. It feels so possible. It’s an illusion. They curse their weakness and their inability. They curse God for taking so long. They curse their situation.
God never asked us to save ourselves. The law was given to show his greatness, not our own. Where are we going? We are staying right here until God takes us home. What does this have to do with the spiritual disciplines? God’s discipline is about life in the light, in a garden of his word, grown for our nourishment.
We don’t often understand that in the Christian life, “the high” is often given in low, hard places.
The spiritual disciplines are an act of remembrance of God’s grace, not a means of obtaining it or manipulating it. God made the covenant. God sacrificed his Son. Anything we do at this point is evidence of his redemption in our lives, and he will get all the glory.
(Grace received, not earned — God gets the glory, we get the gift)
Chapter 3 Dependence Not Achievement “God doesn’t call us from a place of need; we call to him. We get the grace; he gets the glory. And we never switch roles. If you do, you’ll live a life of guilt-laden burnout instead of one sustained, joy-filled, life-giving sacrifice.” —J. D. Greear Jesus, Continued …
Every plan I had made for my life up until that point, I had thought was for God. I came face to face with the fact that I had done it all for me and my glory. I was puffing myself up and adorning myself with good works like a peacock.
The spiritual disciplines center around understanding the depth of God’s love, because that is where the power is. If there is any achievement in us, any hint of salvation or even sanctification by our own works, we are moving away from that understanding, not towards it.
Notice—in this passage, Paul talks about all that he obtained through good works. And yet? All that he obtained got him nowhere.
So many times, I often feel like I cannot get as close to God as I want because I’m not disciplined enough, I’m not organized enough, or I’m simply not a morning person. I have too many kids. I have too much on my plate. I am simply “not enough” to be that kind of faithful Christian.
but is to align the outer man to the same truth that the inner man knows.
(Neediness as the doorway — his strength revealed through our lack)
Understanding your lack will help you see his strength. The repetition of confessing will remind you of his grace that does not run dry. Through learning to lament, you will disciple with compassion instead of arrogance. All of these things are the Holy Spirit shaping you and forming you for his kingdom’s purposes— to pour the truth and substance of his love on others. But when it comes down to it, you realize that, as he teaches you to love him and love others, you’re brought to your knees in worship, at the greatness of his love.