(The nature of darkness and aggregated vibration)
It doesn’t know how to betray you.
I am talking about your relationship with the primal nature of darkness: the absence of light.
YOUR AGGREGATED VIBRATION To understand how pivotal shadow integration can be as you work on creating a new reality, it is necessary to grasp the concept of aggregated vibration.
(The psyche’s craving for integration and the shadow’s pull)
It goes even deeper than that. Through my years in practice, it has now become my personal belief that your psyche craves integration. Your shadow craves to be illuminated. Because of that, we have an unconscious tendency to re-create circumstances that will cause us to look at the emotional conflicts we carry so that they may be resolved.
Your self-concept is the image you have of yourself. It’s who you “know” yourself to be, regardless of how accurate it is, or not.
Imagine that, built within you, there is an aspect of your psyche that constantly says, “I will hold the inner conflicts you are not equipped to address until you have claimed the courage and maturity to meet them fully.”
It will naturally bring to your awareness aspects of yourself that need to be met with love so that you can embrace your next level of expansion. This is what really happens when we deal with resistance or what tends to look like self-sabotage.
That’s the reason why I often say: If you pray for deeper self-liberation, intimacy, and integration, do not be surprised if the answer is a trigger.
(Enheartenment: returning the exiled parts to the heart)
What I mean by enheartenment is the sacred practice of bringing back to your heart parts of you that you were once conditioned to see as unlovable. This is at the core of the process of healing and expansion.
Because of that pattern, I became hyperindependent, and it also strongly impacted the balance between giving and receiving in most of my relationships. I became the giver, because expecting anything from others felt way too vulnerable.
(Fear as creative life force in disguise)
THE HIGHEST PURPOSE BENEATH THE FEARS THAT FUEL SELF-ABANDONMENT I tend to see fear as a precursor for expansion. I think of it as a creative life force under endarkened disguise. When we give ourselves permission to face it fully, we unleash the creative power that we were out of touch with.
Beneath the fear of humiliation, there is a genuine need for appreciation and acknowledgment that often goes unmet. In order to protect ourselves from experiencing humiliation, we default to defensiveness and self-righteousness to shield our pride. We may even choose to hide our authenticity and our brightness when we don’t have guarantees of receiving appreciation and praise. This is at the core of many perfectionist tendencies.
Therefore, the highest purpose of our fear of humiliation is to get us sober from that addiction.
It’s a form of humility that does not disown your brightness. It makes equal room for your magnificence and your shortcomings.
The wisdom we get to embrace on the other side of facing the fear of humiliation is to stand strongly in the affirmation: “I will not abandon myself even when I have no guarantee of receiving praise. I will stand
in my authenticity even when I risk getting humiliated.”
(Rejection, betrayal, and the addiction to belonging)
What that tells us is that closeness is not a good substitute for intimacy and connection.
The highest invitation of this fear is, therefore, to liberate ourselves from our addiction to belonging. It is to make peace with the possibility that choosing to stand in our authenticity may cause us to walk alone for a while.
“I will not abandon myself even when I risk getting rejected and alienated. I will stand in my authenticity even if it means that I might have to walk alone.”
The highest invitation on the other side of the fear of betrayal is to sober up from the addiction to loyalty and to having our trust honored by the people in our lives.
(Emotional presence, feelings as feedback, and integration)
Are you open to the possibility that the traits you love to judge in others may also exist within yourself? Are you willing to risk getting close to the parts of you that are frozen in time and tormented by ancient pain? Are you open to getting close to the aspects of you that you had to repress to avoid feeling alienated by people you loved?
Heart-centered authenticity is a great benchmark for how integrated someone is.
Where emotional awareness says, “I see you,” to truly feel is to practice emotional presence; it is to say, “I am with you.”
According to Hicks’s emotional guidance system, our highest emotions, such as joy and love, let us know that we are in alignment with our purest soul essence.
I think seeing our feelings as feedback from the soul is a great perspective. Yet, if we don’t use this appropriately, it can be a double-edged sword. It may cause us to want to bypass what we are experiencing emotionally, because we want to change our focus to thoughts that bring better feelings. When misused, it can turn into a refusal to be with the emotions we are currently experiencing, especially if they are challenging. Doing that fuels fragmentation.
When you bring a healthy degree of curiosity and presence to what is happening internally, it is then that you can refine your perception.