(The three fundamental human needs that the calling fulfills)
And what I’ve come to know with every ounce of my being is that all of us, no matter what our story is, want to be true to ourselves, be well compensated and acknowledged for how we serve others, and contribute to the greater good. These are fundamental human needs.
On a personal level, I’ve learned that it wasn’t until I pursued my deepest calling, which is to create profound experiences that help others pursue their purpose, that I began making satisfying money and working from a loving place within me. In other words, it wasn’t until I embraced the philosophy that I’m about to teach you that my life transformed in the most incredible way.
My primary aim in writing this book is to show you how to get free. Free from all of those expectations that are consistently placed on you by others and society at large. Free from all the inner chatter that constantly tells you to dim your light and guard your heart. Free from the limiting conditions and conversations that tie you down and bleed you dry. If you are stuck in a never-ending loop of hyper-achievement or driven by the quest for external validation, I want to show you that it is possible for you to live a meaningful life on your own terms.
This process truly puts your life back in your hands and enables you to create a step-by-step blueprint for how to express your truest self and pursue your highest calling. And it begins with three core commitments: Stay True. Get Paid. Do Good. Staying true means honoring who you really are, your deepest values and grandest visions; Getting paid means being well compensated for sharing your unique combination of talents and gifts in a way that adds tremendous value in the marketplace; Doing good means creating positive change in the world by making a profound difference in the lives of others.
(Naming the calling — what it is and why it compels)
Your calling is that thing that only you can do. For most people, it is the thing you have to force yourself not to do. When you ignore it, it is the thing that weighs on you, pulls at you, and consumes your conscience until you give it its due. It is the thing that both terrifies you and brings you the most joy.
It means defining your goals and establishing practices—both in business and in your personal life—that are always in alignment with your most deeply held values, your unique talents and gifts, and the profound difference you want to
You might be surprised to learn that being smart, capable, and highly talented isn’t enough to get there. You might be masterful at pleasing others, playing the game, and checking off boxes related to typical success milestones, but these factors don’t guarantee happiness. Because, at some point, the call will come knocking—and you’ll have to consider all of the ways you’ve been conditioned to sell out on your own wants, needs, and desires.
(The deeper ‘more’ — authentic self over accumulation)
It is natural for us to aspire to more, but the more we’re seeking doesn’t live in the number of cars we drive or houses we occupy. The more that keeps us awake at night is the profound connection we seek to have with our most authentic selves and greatest offerings.
It integrates spiritual guidance with structure and accountability, tools for visioning with strategies for implementation and plenty of case studies to demonstrate just how impactful these concepts can be when you apply them to any walk
(A six-step process for transforming limiting beliefs)
Step 1: Recognizing that it always begins with awareness. If you can’t see it then you can’t do anything about it. You’ve got to take the time to see what’s actually happening and where your choices and behaviors are contributing to any form of limitation in your current reality. Step 2: Accepting, embracing, and telling the truth. It means taking responsibility for yourself, your life, and the things that you want or need to be changed. In order to create something new, you must make peace with where you are; you must also give up the urge to fall into the traps of denial and critical self-judgment. Step 3: Forgiving yourself and others. This is where the rubber meets the road. Forgiving yourself and others for any situations that have led to your limiting beliefs and behaviors is the difference between living at the mercy of your circumstances and creating a life you intend by design. On a universal level, your ability to cultivate compassion for yourself and others is also what invites a wealth of possibility into your future. Step 4: Redefining and visualizing (reimagining) your new future. This is where conscious creation really takes hold. I will teach you how to articulate your vision as a new belief, as you’re making a decision to replace the old one with a new one. I teach my clients that any time you extract a limiting conversation, you must put something new in its place or, just like an aggressive weed in that garden, it will grow back. Step 5: Aligning through right actions. Nothing supports how a new belief takes hold quicker than taking actions that are consistent with that new belief. Consistent, aligned right actions—no matter how big or small—give life to that new decision and inspire you to keep going. Step 6: Finally, you must celebrate! This sixth step insists that you bring some joy to the process of rebuilding your belief system. Celebrating encourages you to acknowledge your efforts, pay attention to your progress, and affirm to yourself that you are making the beautiful, powerful changes you need to make.
What Is Your Calling and Why Should You Pursue It? There has never been a better time to answer your calling. We are living in a world that is both ripe for entrepreneurial
success and desperately in need of positive social change in every corner of society.
Throughout The Calling, my goal is to help you un-mine, apply, and elevate what it means to be a deeply fulfilled, well-paid, and happily engaged citizen of the world. I believe that you already have the most important elements within you to live out your full potential. It’s just a matter of gaining access to the knowledge, skills, and insights that will enable you to architect success on your own terms. I will give you the framework, tools, and encouragement to achieve what you’re after. I will guide you through exercises and provide worksheets to help you narrow your focus and achieve your goals.
As Jay Abraham, a marketing genius and one of my own teachers, likes to say, “If you aren’t taking action, then you’re indulging in ‘intellectual entertainment.’” This is why Move The Crowd is both a company and what I call a “community of practice.” There’s no lack of motivational philosophy and ideology floating around, but we help clients hone their mission and feel supported as they put their big ideas into action. I’ve successfully done this work with tens of thousands of people over the last thirty years, and now I want to do it with you. It’s time for you to put your stake in the ground for the kind of person you want to be, for the life you want to live, and for the world you want to be part of. You’ve got to become adamant about fulfilling your own hopes and dreams and unapologetic about thinking for yourself.
We’re digging deep to understand ourselves and then marry aspects of who we are and what we do for a living with our most soulful conscience, to pursue a high-risk, high-challenge, and high-reward reality.
And as a part of that movement, you have the opportunity to participate in our global community of practice with a complimentary subscription at www.movethecrowd.me/TheCalling/resources.
1 Step #1: Recognizing Your Creative Strengths
The catch, however, is that until someone gets fed up—I mean really fed up with whatever is not working, be it their job, relationship, money, family, health, or friendships—nothing will ever change.
If you’re lukewarm about making changes to improve certain areas of your life, don’t even bother asking for help. Without the right mindset, you won’t take the necessary actions to alleviate your suffering. Pain, as much as we don’t like it, is comfortable. We get used to it. It’s our pain, which somehow makes it more bearable. But that kind of pain won’t get you anywhere. You’ve got to get to a point where the pain of not challenging yourself feels worse than the pain of hiding out. In other words, you must hit your version of rock bottom before you’re ready to move.
(The victim cycle and the common denominator within)
Like Christine, you may feel like a victim, caught in an endless cycle of anger, fear, doubt, and frustration. And since you feel like a victim, you unwittingly create the same disappointing outcomes over and over by feeding the emotions that put those behaviors in place. Before you know it, you’re tangled up in a never-ending swirl of undesirable circumstances, causing you to feel trapped and out of control. What Christine didn’t realize at the time was that she’d been co-creating her misery. And here’s the kicker: The only way out of her cycle would be to see that the common denominator in all her problems was, well, her. That’s no easy
This is actually your first step toward staying true—choosing to tune out all the noise in your head so that you can tune into a message that’s different from your usual chatter. You see, until now, Christine had been exposed to the same “not my fault” or “all my fault” narrative that permeates our culture and allows most of us to either push blame onto others or flog ourselves senseless when things don’t go our way.
So before life could transform for Christine, she had to embrace her power and understand on a deep level that her reality would only be different if she was willing to envision it differently. Then she had to consciously do the work to turn her vision into a new reality. That required taking her blinders off and getting to the truth about why she sought me out in the first place.
In Order to Stay True, You’ve Got to Get True First!
like our friend Christine, I’ve got three words for you: “You are creative.” No matter who you are or where you’re from, you have the ability to co-create with anything occurring in your life. And you have the ability to heal and transform anything that is not working for you. This is not just my opinion; it’s a universal law that’s been operating from the onset of human awareness. This creative principle is woven throughout many Eastern spiritual teachings, like those from Buddha, who said, “All that we are is the result of all that we have thought,”
Matthew: “Ask and it is given, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened unto you.”
(Co-creation as universal law — what you believe is what you order)
You and I are creating all the time, but most of us don’t know it. Whether you manifest a million dollars or a parking ticket (yes, both are possible!), it’s all creation at work. Sometimes you initiate the creation, like when you ask for something you desire like a raise or promotion, and sometimes life throws you a curveball with an invitation to improvise, like when you get fired from your day job, only to discover
that your passion is to lead retreats all over the world for burned-out corporate executives, which ends up being far more rewarding and lucrative. Either way, you are in a constant dialogue with a higher power—call it God, Source, the universe, doesn’t matter. Just like at a restaurant, you place orders every second of the day and are served what you “ask for.” And what you ask for isn’t just what you verbally say but also what you mentally and emotionally expect—i.e., what you ultimately believe is possible and feel is going to happen. When you create, you do it through what you think, feel, and act on. And what you think, feel, and act on is driven by what you believe. Sometimes when I hear people say negative things, I cringe because they have no idea what they are creating. They are totally oblivious to the fact that they are orchestrating a recipe for disaster just by virtue of the words (spoken with conviction!) spilling from their lips. Then you have those who attempt to “fix it” through positive self-talk or forced gratitude exercises, and when I see this I get just as concerned. Granted it’s a step in the right direction, but when you have absolutely no relationship to what you’re saying it won’t turn into manifested action. So even if you’re trying to say or do the right thing, if what’s going on inside doesn’t line up, the universe doesn’t honor it because it’s just not true for you.
Sometimes when I hear people say negative things, I cringe because they have no idea what they are creating. They are totally oblivious to the fact that they are orchestrating a recipe for disaster just by virtue of the words (spoken with conviction!) spilling from their lips. Then you have those who attempt to “fix it” through positive self-talk or forced gratitude exercises, and when I see this I get just as concerned. Granted it’s a step in the right direction, but when you have absolutely no relationship to what you’re saying it won’t turn into manifested action. So even if you’re trying to say or do the right thing, if what’s going on inside doesn’t line up, the universe doesn’t honor it because it’s just not true for you.
Listen, if they can’t fool me, they sure can’t fool…
Here I used a visual tool called The Conflict Cycle (developed by the Community Boards conflict resolution center, which can be found at https://communityboards.org) to help illuminate how and why certain…
soon realized that I was raised to believe that conflict was bad, so I had developed conditioned responses that caused any conflict to be a bad situation (i.e., lying, calling names, walking out, getting violent, avoiding). Ultimately, those responses…
All the way home, I just kept telling myself this would not have happened if I had not said anything. The experience just reinforced what I already knew: that conflict was indeed bad. This belief kept me stuck in a never-ending loop of bad experiences—hence my conflict cycle. Over the years, however, I realized that The Conflict Cycle has a broader relevance not just for me and my clients, but for everyone seeking to discover how limiting conversations hold you back from your true self and true calling. This cycle is actually built on a universal principle called the Law of Vibration that says everything in the universe is comprised of energy and therefore vibrates at a particular frequency. And within this realm “like attracts like,” so you bring things into your world that are similar to whatever frequency you give off. Your vibration, aka your vibe, is the culmination of what you believe. And the way you think, feel, and act in any given situation is linked to your…
So if you really want to change the game and get true, as in True. Paid. Good., two creation-minded moves need to happen: (1) You must embrace the fact that you are creative, and (2) you must start to pay very close attention to what you believe. Cumulatively, this means that you need to become acutely aware of how your internal dialogue sounds and how that dialogue goes on to influence your perception, mood, and behavior. Only then will you come to understand how that behavior…
(Belief-habit loops and moving from unconscious to conscious creation)
When these belief-thought-action cycles become ingrained, they turn into habits, aka things you do over and over without consciously thinking about them. From brushing your teeth to choosing emotionally unavailable partners, this kind of autopilot conditioning is great when you’re developing a habit that serves you, but when it doesn’…
For instance, if you believe that hard work pays off and you know that’s what you believe, then you will work hard and expect to be rewarded for…
One of the greatest opportunities you have when you embrace the fact that you are creative is that you get to challenge what is actually false and what is true for you. You can then go from being what I call an “unconscious creator,” which means you’re unknowingly controlled by beliefs that don’t serve your best interests, to being a “conscious creator,” which means you get to redefine your beliefs in a way that serves you. A conscious creator is awake and aware of what they believe, think about, focus on, and give their energy to. When you are conscious, you can practice intentional thoughts and actions in every moment, so that you can master a process that allows you to choose and have more of what you want in your life. This is the foundation for becoming true, paid, and good.
(Case study — visualizing a new reality to replace sacrifice conditioning)
Because of her upbringing, Anna felt it was her duty to take on the weight of the world, which made her feel perpetually exhausted and depleted. When Anna got pregnant with her first child, something had to give, and she asked me to help her strategize a professional transition. She loved her organization, but she knew she’d soon have two babies to care for—her new child and her old job—and she wanted to show up for both.
Every role she took on had required some level of sacrifice, time, energy, money, and sleep in order to produce an acceptable outcome where others felt seen, heard, and taken care of. And so, she became conditioned to accept that some level of painful sacrifice was her only choice—this was her truth. (I’ve seen this repeatedly happen in the arts world. There are too many incredible organizations that provide vital resources to communities but are grossly under-resourced, which causes those who are passionate about the mission to consistently stretch in ways that are not healthy to make up the shortfall.)
To work, she had to believe on some level that it was possible. I asked her to visualize herself being nurtured and cared for, as she got the rest she needed and prepared her home for a child. She simultaneously had to visualize her organization thriving, and her team knocking it out of the park during her maternity leave. Anna also had to imagine her finances in great shape so she could relax and focus on being a terrific working mom. I asked Anna to visualize this reality over and over, for 15–20 minutes every day, until it became viscerally real for her. She needed to see, feel, and imagine this outcome as a possibility.
Once you accept and own that you’re capable of creating your desired reality, your reality will start to transform, and you will experience an unprecedented level of joy and satisfaction as you watch more of what you truly desire manifest.
You will see that you’re meant to envision an amazing future, then act on it. You’ll begin to understand that even when very difficult things happen, you can meet those circumstances with the power of your own intentions and begin to find your own sense of personal power in the circumstances that impact your life. Recognizing your power to co-create your reality is the first step toward staying true and pursuing your calling. If you are looking to anything outside of you to validate your existence, you’re wasting your time. The external world is mostly a reflection of what you believe, think, and act on.
In my work with thousands of clients over the last thirty years, I’ve watched too many talented and capable souls squander their skills and gifts because they could not release their grip on victimhood—even if they didn’t intend to do themselves harm.
You can download it from www.movethecrowd.me/TheCalling/resources; then get ready to buckle down and do some work!
PRACTICE 1 “I am a conscious creator, and I have the ability to create the life I most desire.”
During the day, say it three times—perhaps when you are transitioning between work projects or traveling from one destination to the other, just before your lunch break, or before you pick up the kids. Finally, repeat the mantra in the evening, after you climb into bed and just before you close your eyes.
EXERCISE 1 Since you now appreciate the power that beliefs hold, let’s take inventory of your current belief system. Beliefs can become so ingrained that you don’t really recognize them unless you’re encouraged to. The following exercise will help you understand more of what’s informing your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Once you’re aware, you can decide what to do about them. This exercise will highlight what’s actually going on inside you, which increases awareness and is the precursor to any form of change. Complete the following Belief Inventory exercise.
THE BELIEF INVENTORY There are six major areas that I invite you to explore in this exercise. Use these questions as prompts to explore your current belief system. I. Beliefs About Yourself: What kind of person are you? Do you feel good about yourself (i.e., who you are, what you have)? Do you see yourself as capable? Do you see yourself as worthy? When you look in the mirror, are you pleased? If you had to choose five words to describe yourself what would they be? What are the things you’re really good at? Do you feel confident in claiming the things that you’re really good at? What are the things you’re not so good at? How do you feel about the things you’re not so good at? Do you feel confident in letting others know about the things you’re not so good at? Why or why not? Do you trust yourself? Why or why not? Is there anything else you see here about what you believe? II. Beliefs About Others: Do you feel comfortable around others? Do you feel comfortable around people you do not know? Do you feel comfortable around people who are different than you are? Which differences, if any, make you uncomfortable? Do you believe that most people are good? Do you believe that most people care about others? Do you believe that you have more in common with your fellow women/men or less? Do you generally trust other people? Why or why not? What do you believe people are most motivated by? What are five words you’d use to describe other people? What are five words you think they’d use to describe you? Do you think it’s important to seek the advice of others? If so, when and why? If not, why not? If you could choose to occupy space with other people or be alone, which would you prefer and why? Is there anything else you see here about what you believe? III. Beliefs About Your Current Situations/Circumstances: How do you feel about the current state of your life? Are there situations or circumstances that currently make you smile? If so, what do you love most about what you are experiencing right now? Are there situations or circumstances that are currently challenging you? If so, what’s the most challenging part about it/them? Do you feel empowered to change the things that are not working for you? Why or why not? Do you find that change is easy or difficult for you? Why or why not? Do you believe you can create what you want when it comes to your current circumstances? Why or why not? Why do you believe this challenging situation/circumstance is happening? What do you believe would make the situation or circumstance better? Is there anything else you see here about what you believe? IV. Beliefs About the World: How do you feel about the current state of our world? How do you feel about society in general? Is it safe, just, peaceful? What are the specific things that concern you? Do you believe these things can change? What are the things that give you hope? Do you see yourself as a part of the problem or part of the solution? Why or why not? Do you think…
And you can decide in this moment that those days of giving up your power are over for you. To identify and pursue your calling, you must own your sense of self—accept responsibility for what you believe about who you are and what matters to you—this is the ultimate test for getting and staying true. Owning your sense of self enables you to focus on what supports, honors, and reflects your healthiest view of you. No matter how many beliefs have been passed down or reinforced through the years, it’s time to push to the forefront what’s important to you, what makes you feel great and inspires you to be your best.
PRACTICE 1 “I am responsible for my own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions.”
PRACTICE 2 For the next two weeks, do one activity a day that makes you feel really good about yourself. It can be taking the time to do something you enjoy, eating in a way that enlivens you, or sharing your gifts in a way that makes you feel happy.
When situations cause us to doubt and even abandon ourselves, we create and wear a mask that separates us from the truth of who we are in an attempt to protect ourselves from the world.
When I asked Steven, “Who’s really spending all this money?” he was confused at first; then he said, “It’s the little boy who always wanted his father’s attention.” Tears welled up in his eyes. “I feel like I’m spending all of this money just to say, ‘Look at me! I’m finally somebody.’” As he moved deeper into this realization, his Greatest Money Hits began to emerge. He felt like a nobody from Iowa, and having this cushy job in the big city had become an integral part of his coming-up story.
(Authenticity, co-creativity, and the consumer seeking transformation)
In this Age of the Citizen, consumers are looking for more than just friendly transactions or product benefits. They want radical shifts in their quality of life and experience, too! Think back to the four core tenets in chapter 11: authenticity, transparency, co-creativity, and community. These are what truly guide a customer’s purchasing decisions.
(Celebrating as contribution — dharma expressed as advancement)
Step #6: Celebrating Your Next Level of Contribution Now that you’ve developed your True. Paid. Good. strategy, it’s time to take it out into the world. One of the books that changed my life is called The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles. It is a small book that contains big wisdom on the principles and characteristics that breed abundance. In it, Wattles points out how crucial it is to work in ways that make everything around you better. He calls this “being advancing.” He says: “No matter whether you are a physician, a teacher, or a clergyman, if you can give increase of life to others and make them sensible of the fact, they will be attracted to you and you will be rich.”
it—whether it was running a marathon for charity, giving advice to a friend, or teaching your child the ABCs—I’ll bet it was driven by a deeper desire to give “more life” to those around you. Now just imagine profiting from this same generosity that is now deeply rooted in your life’s work. This is the promise of True. Paid. Good., if you apply the lessons and principles I’ve given you. You have enormous potential to live a fulfilling, prosperous life and make a difference in the lives of others—to be advancing in every sense of the word.
This takes me back to my original definition of dharma, i.e., your true nature expressed as your highest contribution and calling. This definition should take on a whole new meaning for you now that you’ve had the chance to go deep on who you are and on what you’re ultimately here to provide to the world.