Curated verbatim from the full text (O Books reissue, 2003; text © Diana Richardson 1999). Selection covers the conceptual spine — relaxation over release, male/female polarity, sex as meditation, the nine Love Keys, soft penetration, the valley orgasm, non-ejaculation, and the divine as present-moment — plus the book’s own explicit lineage (Barry Long + Osho). Minor OCR artifacts silently corrected; wording otherwise exact. Chapter titles are reconstructed (the extract’s headings carry no title text) — treat structure as verified, titles as indicative.
The Central Reframe — Relaxation, Not Release (Ch. 1)
Relaxation is the whole ambience of Tantra. It means that when we relax down into our sexual energy, instead of building it up to a peak and then releasing it, the outcome will be more life energy and more love.
In fact, ecstasy and tension are diametrically opposed; tension creates heat and restlessness while ecstasy arises from a coolness and an inner peace. Tension narrows and contracts, while relaxation opens and expands. Tension creates a peak, while relaxation creates a valley. Tension forces a release, while relaxation allows absorption.
The secret of Tantra, and its prime interest, is that sexual energy is encouraged to be retained in the body. It is not habitually released in orgasm or ejaculation. It remains within the body and is re-circulated, and through this we fulfill our orgasmic potential.
Sex in its highest form has an element of the divine in it. It brings you to ‘here,’ to the divinity of the present moment where you feel gloriously at ease.
In inquiring into the phenomenon of orgasm, modern research reveals that an ‘average’ sexually active person experiences orgasmic ecstasy for twenty seconds a week, ninety seconds a month, thus eighteen minutes a year. And this is based on an orgasm lasting ten seconds. Even ten seconds can seem quite an achievement! So in fifty years of sexual activity we have the privilege of experiencing orgasmic ecstasy for about fifteen hours in total.
Conditioning — Doing Instead of Being (Ch. 2)
The simple answer, sadly, is that as we have become more civilized we have become less conscious.
We only know how to ‘do’ in love, and not how to ‘be’ in love.
As soon as our level of sexual excitement reaches a certain point, the unconscious tension within each of us is triggered to form an urgent physical desire, which sets up a powerful craving for orgasm.
Male and Female Polarity (Ch. 3)
The male body is carrying the positive pole in the genitals and the negative pole in the chest and heart area. The female, in natural opposition, carries the positive pole in her breasts and heart and the negative pole in her genitals.
In complementary style, the root of the female kundalini energy lies not in the spinal base as mistakenly believed, but in the breasts. This is so because energy cannot be raised from a negative center.
This means in practical terms, that for a woman the breasts are infinitely more important than her vagina.
In divine sexual union, the positive male pole penetrates the female negative, reaches upward, ultimately penetrating the heart. When this happens, a kind of golden interlocking effect occurs, the penis encased and absorbed gloriously within the heart. This is pure ecstasy!
Sex and Meditation (Ch. 4)
This happens because we understand the real nature of sexual energy — that awareness transforms sex into love.
The art of Tantra most simply defined is the union of sex and meditation.
The Nine Love Keys (Ch. 5)
In Part 2, the Love Keys are assembled under nine general headings: Eyes, Breath, Communication, Genital Consciousness, Touch, Relaxation, Soft Penetration, Deep Penetration, and Rotating Positions.
Let this be a form of play where we are sincere and not serious. And there is a world between these two. Sincerity arises from the heart, while seriousness arises from the mind.
Breath — The Golden Circle (Ch. 7)
The man breathes in through his heart and out of his penis. The woman breathes in through her vagina and out through her heart. Imagine the breath to be golden light as it moves around in a circle.
Tantra says that when lovers remain in rhythmic breathing in unison, there will be no ejaculation. If the breath is in rhythm, the body absorbs the energy; it never throws it out.
Genital Consciousness — Relax the Floor (Ch. 9)
By relaxing the anus the whole floor of the pelvis will soften, the sexual energy can fall down and backward into the body so to speak, and he will feel more rooted in the base of the penis.
The prime characteristic of the pelvic floor is that we are always holding it tight, pulled up and contracted. And we are absolutely unconscious of this central tension.
Relaxation — A Returning of Presence (Ch. 11)
Importantly, relaxation is not a collapse of the physical structure as many people believe, but a returning of presence to the physical structure. When you relax consciously, you enter the body parts, become more alert, more vibrant, more sensitive and receptive. It is not a checking out but more a checking in.
Soft Penetration (Ch. 12)
A good way to start restoring polarity is to attempt soft penetration — yes, without an erection! This idea is often greeted with laughter and disbelief, but it is a reality, the penis can go inside when it is not erect and it feels remarkably wonderful.
The penis can become erect inside the vagina in direct response to the vaginal environment, which creates an entirely different quality of sexual energy to that of penetration with erection.
The Orgasm That Is a State (Ch. 18)
Tantra offers an orgasm that is a state and not an event. It is interested in being orgasmic, rather than having an orgasm. One is timeless and the other the fewest of seconds.
Think about what might happen if you didn’t go for a peak but instead relaxed into the valley and became a wave in the ocean.
It is the experience of a valley orgasm, a falling into the ecstatic depths of relaxation. In this valley of relaxation a man can experience orgasm without ejaculation.
Non-Ejaculation — and the Critique of “Control” (Ch. 18–19)
One of the confusions about ejaculation is that it is valued as a form of relaxation. But it is really a dissipation, a tremendous loss of energy which results in fatigue or irritation rather than the refreshing quality typical of relaxation.
Likewise, Tantra is interested in non-ejaculation which is not to be confused with ejaculation control. The very word ‘control’ implies a tension, so ejaculation control cannot be a relaxing experience.
It does not mean that you never come.
Love Is a State, Not an Emotion (Ch. 23)
Tantra teaches us very clearly that love is not an emotion. Love is more a state of being, a quality that resides within you. It is cool not hot, accepting not challenging, relaxed not excited or tense, content not depressed.
The Body as Temple (Ch. 26, Afterword)
The body is the finest and most graceful temple on earth, and to find God within oneself, through sex, is the great gift of life.
The truth I discovered was that in doing less I found more.
Tantra is not asking for your either or, it is asking for you in your totality.
What you do is not the concern of Tantra, but how you do is its focus.
The Stated Lineage (Introduction)
My years of experience and inspiration are based on two audio-tapes entitled ‘Making Love’ produced by Barry Long. The depth and detail of information given by Barry Long changed the course of my life.
Furthermore, it enabled me to understand and absorb, in a bodily way, the words of my spiritual master, Osho. He includes a vision of spirituality through sex, woven together with interpretations of the ancient Tantric scriptures which were born in India thousands of years ago.
Both these sources represent Tantric teaching at its highest level.
(Each of the book’s three part-epigraphs and its closing epigraph is drawn from Osho: Vigyan Bhairav Tantra Vol. 2; Yoga, The Alpha and Omega Vol. 10; The Tantra Vision.)