(Orgasm and ejaculation as two distinct processes)
delaying and even withholding ejaculation. This is possible because orgasm and ejaculation are two distinct physical processes, though they have long been equated in the West. Although clearly less precise than today’s sex researchers, the ancient Chinese recorded their findings in detail for future generations of sexual and spiritual seekers.
Without this knowledge and without a clear technique, men are unable to feel the difference between the crescendo of orgasm and the crash of ejaculation.
the orgasmic process of lovemaking. The Multi-Orgasmic Man shows men how to separate orgasm and ejaculation in their own bodies, allowing them to transform the momentary release of ejaculation into countless peaks of whole-body orgasms. In the words of one multi-orgasmic man, “In the normal, everyday sort of ejaculation my pleasure is quickly over with. Not so in multiple orgasms. The pleasure generated here stays with me throughout the day. There seems to be no final peak to this pleasure, either. This practice offers the added bonus of affording extra energy, so I am just never tired. Now I can have as much sex as I want and I can control it rather than have it control me. What more can a man ask for?”
“Basically, I have slept with three women since starting to practice these techniques, and all three have told me that I was their best, literally said it to me while we were in bed: ‘This is the best I have ever had.’ ”
(Taoist roots of sexual kung fu)
The Taoists were originally a group of seekers in ancient China (around 500 B.C.E.) who were extremely interested in health and spirituality.
Taoist sexuality, also called Sexual Kung Fu, began as a branch of Chinese medicine. (Kung fu literally means “practice,” so Sexual Kung Fu simply means “sexual practice.”)
In the West, Wilhelm Reich, in his controversial book The Function of Orgasm, was the first to argue that orgasm involved the whole body and not just the genitals. In the East, the Taoists have long known that orgasm could be a whole-body experience and developed techniques for expanding orgasmic pleasure.
When you become multi-orgasmic, you will never have to worry about how long you can last or how many orgasms your partner has, because you will both be able to have all the orgasms you could ever want.
As one multi-orgasmic man put it, “Once I ejaculate, the pillow looks better than my girlfriend does.”
As one of the world’s greatest trumpet players, he knew how ejaculating decreased his stamina and depleted his art. Unfortunately, like most men, he didn’t know that he could have had sex all he wanted, even have orgasmed, before any gig—as long as he didn’t ejaculate. It might have even improved his “hitting.”
(Ejaculation as energy drain — the cost of excess)
recovering from a chronic illness explained: “My sexual desire has always been strong, so I ejaculated often, once or twice a day. And with every ejaculation my health got worse and worse because I was losing a lot of energy.” Many men, especially young men, may not notice this feeling of depletion at first unless they ejaculate when they are sick or working hard.
As you practice, you may have more sexual energy than you are used to, and you will need to learn to channel this excess energy. As one multi-orgasmic man explained, “When I started the practice, all of my relationships became sexualized. I needed to learn to circulate and balance the energy.” If this happens to you, the Cool Draw exercise described in the following chapter will help you transform this sexual energy into more neutral and less volatile physical energy, referred to earlier as chi. You can also take up Taichi or chi-kung (pronounced CHEE-GUNG) or other practices to help you ground and channel this additional energy. Exercise in general will help you to manage this additional energy.
According to Taoism, we need to feel aroused, to feel the life-giving force of sexual energy, every day, because when we feel aroused, our bodies produce more sexual hormones, which in Taoism were considered the fountain of youth. (This need for arousal is why sex sells: we are drawn to images that stimulate this sexual energy and these sexual hormones.) When you learn how to circulate your sexual energy, you can feel this rejuvenating power at any time.
CENTURY COUNT 1. Slowly inhale (expanding your belly) and exhale (flattening your belly). Count each complete inhalation and exhalation as one breath. 2. Continue breathing from the belly and counting from one to one hundred, thinking only about your breathing. 3. If you notice that your mind has strayed, start again. 4. Practice this exercise twice a day until you can count to one hundred with ease.
One multi-orgasmic man explained his practice: “I go to the gym and I’ll sit in the sauna and count my breath in and out as one, in and out as two, all the way to one hundred. Sometimes I’ll be breathing and counting, and suddenly around fifty or sixty I realize I’m thinking about stocks or something and I can’t remember what number I’m at, so I go back to one and I just start counting again until I get to one hundred.”
EXERCISE 4 PC PULL-UPS 1. Inhale and concentrate on your prostate, perineum, and anus. 2. As you exhale, contract your pc muscle around your prostate and around your anus while at the same time contracting the muscles around your eyes and mouth. 3. Inhale and relax, releasing your pc, eye, and mouth muscles. 4. Repeat steps 2 and 3, contracting your muscles as you exhale and releasing them as you inhale, nine to thirty-six times.
According to the Tao, play is one of the best ways to learn, and “playing with ourselves” is an excellent way to strengthen our genitals and our sexual energy. Many people worry about masturbating “too much,” but the Taoists knew that there is no such thing—as long as one learns to control ejaculation. Too much ejaculation is the problem: it drains men of their strength, but this can happen with intercourse as well as self-pleasuring.
(Circulating sexual energy — breath, pc muscle, and the whole-body orgasm)
In Taoist sexuality you cannot separate your genitals from your heart because the sexual energy circulates throughout your entire body. As one multi-orgasmic man explained, “I used to actually want to keep sex and emotions separate, but as I practiced Taoist sexuality, my genitals became more connected to my heart and I discovered real, profound love for my partner and even for other people.”
“Just as I am about to reach the point of ejaculation, I stop and relax and breathe. It’s almost as if I am letting myself go or fall back into a nonejaculatory orgasm. Sometimes it feels like a pleasurable twitch in my prostate. Other times I can feel it throughout my whole genitals and it’s as intense—more intense—than an ejaculatory orgasm. My wife often can’t tell whether I have ejaculated or not until I tell her.”
One multi-orgasmic man described how he is able to orgasm without ejaculating: “I do a number of things. Variation seems to help, not doing the same over and over again—varying the depth of the thrust when I am making love, or using different strokes when it’s just me and my hand. Slowing down when I feel close to the edge. Deep-breathing exercises. And moving the accumulated chi up my spine and through the Microcosmic Orbit.” Whatever techniques you use to heat yourself up and cool yourself down, the most important parts of the practice are breathing, squeezing your pc muscle, and learning to relax into a nonejaculatory orgasm.