(The enneagram as a map of the ego prison and the way beyond it)
The moral of the story is that understanding the design of the lock that keeps us imprisoned can help us fashion the key that will unlock it. Like all Sufi teaching stories, this one is a metaphor. It describes the condition of most of humanity: imprisoned in the labyrinth of our own ego structures. For most of us, our lives are lived within the narrow confines of what we take ourselves and the world around us to be, which, from the perspective of those not so imprisoned, is a tiny part of what is truly available to us. Particular thought patterns, feelings, and most overtly, situations repeat themselves over and over in our lives, giving our inner experience a sense of sameness.
Although we don’t see bars and walls constraining us as did the tinsmith in Shah’s parable, we are truly in the prison of a holographic reality through which we filter the world around us and our very experience of ourselves.
The enneagram’s deeper function is to point the way to who we are beyond the level of the personality, a dimension of ourselves that is infinitely more profound, more interesting, more rewarding, and more real. It is in support of that pursuit that this book is written.
In a nutshell, the approach that informs this book consists simply of learning how to be fully present within our bodies, our emotions, and our thoughts, and to experientially explore and inquire into what we find.
Putting it slightly differently, when we experientially explore the world of the personality rather than taking it as reality, we see that it is a holographic universe through which we filter our inner and outer experience.
Deeper and deeper levels of reality that are not part of that drama can reveal themselves, bringing us progressively more in touch with what lies beyond and is more fundamental than the filter of the ego: reality, with a capital R, our ultimate nature and the nature of everything. From this perspective, psychological work is inseparable from spiritual development that truly transforms the soul. Pursuing spiritual work without working on our personality typically results in a lack of resolution of deep-seated issues and a lack of true integration of our spirituality, a situation that has limited and even brought down many spiritual teachers and traditions.
As Almaas says, In time, there will be no essence in the person’s conscious experience. Instead of essence or being, there will be many holes: all kinds of deep deficiencies and lacks. However, the person will not usually be consciously aware of his perforated state. Instead, he is usually aware of the filling that covers up the awareness of these deficiencies, what he takes to be his personality. That is why this personality is considered a false personality by people aware of essence. The individual, however, honestly believes that what he is aware of is himself, not knowing that it is only a filling, layers of veils over the original experiences of loss. What is usually left of the experience of essence and its loss is a vague feeling of incompleteness, a gnawing sense of lack, that increases and deepens with age.
As Almaas says, When you objectively apprehend reality… you cannot help but feel positive toward it. In this experience, there are no positive or negative categories that your mind has divided things into. There is no polarity here; this nonconceptual positivity is beyond all polarities. The nature of reality, then, is such that the more it touches your heart, the more your heart feels happy and full, regardless of your mental judgments of good or bad. So the closer we are to our depths, the more in balance and in harmony we feel.
We suffer because we are living at a distance from our depths—it’s as simple as that. The more our souls are infused with Being, the better we feel and the better life seems to us, no matter what our outer circumstances happen to be.
They are chameleonlike, taking on the colorings needed to make a positive impression. It is often difficult to discern what they truly feel or even who they truly are, since they seem to become whoever they need to in
They often drive themselves mercilessly in their pursuit of accomplishment, and may be perceived by others as ruthless, calculating, and possessing a steely determination.
(Spiritual development as expanding soul-flow toward Holy Hope)
Spiritual development, then, is really a matter of nondoing and of removing the obstacles and logjams that impede the flow of our souls. Most people experience movement and change, but it usually stays within more or less narrow confines, as discussed in the Introduction, which gives our lives a sense of staleness, sameness, and stuckness. Expanding our consciousness, then, when seen from the angle of Point Three, is a matter of increasing the movement or the flow of our souls so that we experience more of the various dimensions of the universe. The final goal of spiritual work, then, is not a particular state but rather a capacity to move from one state to another freely and easily. This gives us a sense of momentum and of dynamism, reflecting that of Being as we attune to it. The more we open to the flow of our souls, the more we experience our consciousness and in turn our lives as more harmonious. This brings us to Holy Hope, which describes the effect upon us of integrating Holy Law and Holy Harmony. The closer we move toward our depths, the more we feel in alignment with the universe, functioning harmoniously within its unfolding pattern. This proximity to our deepest truth delights the heart since we are answering its call to connect with its greatest love. Like an irresistibly attracted lover, the human soul is drawn like a magnet to its Beloved, Being. As we move closer to It, the world we inhabit becomes one of beauty, grace, and harmony. Another meaning of Holy Hope is that this innate pull to connect with and realize our True Nature is humanity’s deepest potential and its salvation.
(Type Three: vanity, self-imaging, and the fixation of operating as a separate self)
Because Ennea-type Threes are sensitive to this Holy Idea, as they lose contact with Being, they also lose this understanding and come to feel very much like independent operatives, separate entities acting and doing autonomously, unrelated to the functioning of everyone and everything else. They come to believe that they are laws unto themselves, beyond the morals, strictures, and principles that govern others. This ultimately estranged sense that they can function separately from the whole is the fixed and fundamental belief about reality, the fixation of this ennea-type, and is described by the word vanity on the Enneagram of Fixations, Diagram 2. (Ichazo’s secondary term go refers to the Three’s characteristic of always being busy—on the go.)
Without the sense that you are part of the unfoldment of the whole fabric of reality and that your inner nature is made up of the same presence as everyone and everything else, you are left, like Atlas, to hold up your own separate little world. This is reality for a Three. You are on your own, fundamentally unrelated to everyone and everything else, and actually surpassing Atlas, it’s up to you to create as well as maintain your own universe. There is no activity, unfoldment, or development unless you make it happen. If you don’t generate yourself and your life—worse than nothing happening—you and your world will fall apart. So you have to be constantly active, ceaselessly busy both internally and externally, and hence the nickname of this type, Ego-Go. Whatever happens in your life is up to you, there is no sustenance beyond what you actuate, and there is no salvation beyond yourself. There is, in other words, no Holy Hope. The self who does all of this is the soul identified with the personality, cut off from consciousness of Being. To a Three who is identified with his personality, there is nothing deeper, and it’s the only ground she has to operate from.
Stepping outside of the perspective of the personality, however, one sees that this is not the case. Being acts through us. This is one of the most difficult things for most people to understand, and perhaps using our previous metaphor will make it easier to grasp: we are each individual manifestations of Being, separate waves arising and passing away on the surface of the great Ocean. The movement of each individual wave is not self-generated nor is it separately decided upon; it is part of the movement of the whole sea. In the same way, all that occurs is part of the movement of the larger fabric of reality. From this angle, the differentiation between inner and outer doing—a differentiation based upon whether action is physically manifest or not—breaks down. One implication of this is that our thoughts and emotions are every bit as much a part of this movement as physical actions are, an understanding reflected in the often-misunderstood notion of karma. External doing is always driven by inner doing when we are identified with the personality. The inner doing of the personality is what is called ego activity in spiritual language. It is the ceaseless generation of psychological content, which is based upon our identification as a particular person, and it also supports that identification.
We might experience ourselves as someone who is misunderstood, or someone who others are not inclined to like, someone who never does things right, or someone who has a hard time initiating action; or more positively, as someone who is brighter than others, someone who is very kind, or someone who is strong. As
This cessation of ego activity is the goal of many kinds of spiritual work, and such experiences are what are called enlightenment experiences, because it is only when we experience ourselves without this activity that we experience ourselves completely beyond the personality. In such moments, we know our nature pristinely, without any filters of the past, and we experience ourselves as Being.
Eventually, as we continue to develop spiritually, we see that we can function without producing inner pictures of ourselves. We learn that we do not have to remind ourselves of who we are to drive the car or do our taxes, for instance. Letting go of our historical self, with the holographic movie whose theme is a life lived within object relations, we contact reality directly, responding to the present instead of the past.
generative functioning of Being, Threes attempt to mold or shape themselves into a person. Rather than generating the whole universe, as Being does, here the activity produces a personality based upon a self-image. Threes are deeply identified with this internal image of self, produced by their ego activity, as well as with the external activity directed by this “I.” Rather than experiencing herself as an individual manifestation and expression of Being, which is the experience of the Pearl, the Three feels this “I” as supreme. This “I” is an imitation Pearl, a fake embodiment of God, so to speak, and that is exactly what the ego self is.
From a historical vantage point, she has reacted to the lack of holding in her early environment with the attitude that “I’ll do it myself.” The sensitivity of Threes to their essential nature not being seen and reflected by the environment, filtered through the loss of the Holy Idea, creates the interpretation they must do to survive and to be loved—that their value is rooted in their ego activity and arises from their role and achievements. So the take on their childhood is that their survival was up to them and that they were loved for their accomplishments and not for themselves. Sometimes there was physical deprivation in the past of a Three, or she had to take care of herself as well as other siblings at a very young age because of an absent, overextended, or simply neglectful parent.
As the name of this ennea-type—ego-vanity—indicates, the issue of vanity is central to the psychology of Threes. The word vain is defined as “having no real value, meaning or foundation,”3 and this graphically describes the soul, cut off from awareness of Being, in which the shell of the personality is experienced as preeminent. Indeed, one’s real foundation—which alone can give a true sense of meaning and value to one’s life—is missing. This is the deepest level of the vanity of Threes. Vanity is also defined as “inflated pride in oneself or one’s appearance, attainments, performance, possessions, or successes; hunger for praise or admiration; the ostentation of fashion, wealth, or power regarded as an occasion of empty pride or a vain show.”4 These are more superficial manifestations of the fundamental vanity of Threes, that of the personality usurping the place of Being, and we will explore them in detail.
This shaping of her soul into an image is reflected on the Enneagram of Antiself Actions as self-imaging, which appears at Point Three, as we see on Diagram 11. This shows up visually: there is often something masklike about a Three’s face, having usually a broad, flat, and often sometimes even plastic quality to it. To so value your image, you must see yourself through the eyes of others. Preoccupation with image, then, implies relationship: how you look, what you achieve, and what you have are all relative to others. The image that Threes try to shape themselves into perfectly is based on what others value and idealize.
As personifications of collective ideals, Threes are often very charismatic, mesmerizing, and captivating. A striking example of this was President John F. Kennedy.
If involved in spiritual work, a Three will try to manifest seamlessly the spiritual ideal of her tradition. And it is in this arena that image consciousness becomes most problematic, because experiences of Essence and True Nature only serve to expose and highlight the falsehood of a Three’s front. Threes can be successful for a time in presenting a spiritually correct veneer, but in time reality must expose the sham for there to be true transformation. A case in point is Werner Erhard, the founder of est, who was dubbed the supersalesman of consciousness. He created a popular spiritual empire and made a fortune offering weekend courses that promised “getting it,” i.e., enlightenment. While what he preached emphasized truthfulness and familial reconciliation, his downfall was precipitated by his being exposed as overtly abusive to his wife, and in the course of investigations about it, his dubious financial dealings also came to light.
Becoming all things to all people, Threes often feel that no one really knows them. Threes often feel somewhat impersonal to others. There is a lack of emotionality about them, a mechanicalness visible behind even a show of emotion. This is because their emotions are those of the image—those they think they should feel—rather than those coming from a deeper inner source.
them. It is very difficult for them to tolerate being seen in a bad light by others.
They are pragmatic, practical, matter-of-fact, facing reality coolly, with no complicating emotional reactions or moral compunctions, so that they can expediently meet and master the challenges life presents to them.
There is a driven quality about Threes that causes them to overexert, often neglecting themselves physically and emotionally in ordered to achieve something. They will subordinate eating, sleeping, and any feelings that might arise to the task at hand. It is very difficult for a Three not to be active. Relaxing—unless it becomes a project in and of itself—is not easy for Threes. Achieving things gives them a sense of value and meaning, so not doing means losing that.
The drive of a Three is at its roots an attempt to offset and avoid their core deficiency state, which usually lies buried in the unconscious: feeling like a failure. There are a number of reasons why Threes feel that they have failed. First, they fundamentally believe that their only value arises from the image they present and from their accomplishments, which means that who they are feels worthless to them.
On the other hand, no success ever feels as though it is real or enough, since it is the image that is responsible for it. So the cycle continues of driving oneself on to greater and greater triumphs, none of which ever really brings a sense of satisfaction to a Three’s soul.
They are unequivocally ambitious and will tolerate no obstacles, inward or outward, in realizing their aspirations. There is nothing like a good contest or challenge to sharpen up their edge. They can be calculating, cutthroat, cunning, and heartless, exhibiting a steely determination to get what they want. This was graphically portrayed by the character of Gordon Gekko played by Michael Douglas in the film Wall Street, and also by Al Pacino’s portrayal of the devil as a slick executive in The Devil’s Advocate. To this end, they may badmouth others in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, slyly pushing the competition to the side. It is not that they are cruel or vindictive but rather that they are focused on winning and on triumph, and will allow no one and nothing to stand in their way, compelled by their inner imperative to avoid failure. A Three’s superego exhorts her to do more and more, to be more efficient and faster at what she does, and above all else, to succeed in her ambitions. Her superego uses the threat of failure against her, convincing her that if she lets up, she will surely be a failure. Pushing and driving her onward, her superego is far more heartless and merciless toward her than she could ever be toward anyone else.
Her superego contributes to her all-business-and-no-nonsense orientation, centered on the product rather than the process. Quality is subordinated to quantity, and effect takes priority over affect. To a great extent, Threes’ sense of personal value is measured by how effective, competent, and productive they are, and they judge others using the same yardstick. Efficiency is a Three’s trap, as we see on the Enneagram of Traps, Diagram 9 in Appendix B. They often project inefficiency onto others, believing that they can do things better and faster than anyone else and not trusting others to get the job done.
Prefabricated houses, utilitarian and functional, can be assembled quickly, creating instant neighborhoods. Malls and supermarkets make shopping for a variety of things efficient and quick. And freeways get us wherever we are going rapidly, sacrificing the quality of the journey for speed. Many of these innovations of contemporary life are American, our culture being an uneasy blend of One-ish morality and puritan ethics, and Three-ish amoral expediency and personal ambition. The rest of the world emulates and often outdoes our packaging and promotion of the image and our headlong rush to success. Clothes and shoes with designer labels prominently displayed carry the Three message that you are what you wear. The wrapping substitutes for the substance, the surface for the depth. Silk flowers and plastic lawn animals imitate and replace life. Karaoke bars let you pretend that you are actually singing the song.
This is another area that makes inner work very slippery for a Three. They very often do not know where the truth leaves off and the lie begins. The biggest deception is a self-deception about her inner reality, and hence self-deception occupies Point Three on the Enneagram of Lies, Diagram 12. It is sometimes difficult for Threes to separate out what they think they ought to feel, think, or believe, and what is actually the case for them. The identification with their role or function may be so complete that there is no internal space for any disparities.
This inextricable linkage between self and image, and self and function is another variety of lie. A Three may be so successful at convincing others that she is deeply religious or profoundly spiritually realized, gathering around herself numerous devoted followers, that she believes it herself and begins to think that she is beyond the mores and strictures that apply to others. If a Three’s arena is business, she may be so influential and revered that she skirts the edge of the law, putting together deals or having affairs that she honestly believes will not, and cannot, have personal consequences.
(The Three’s inner journey: veracity, self-confrontation, and becoming real)
Translating this in terms of consciousness, this tells us that discriminating what is oneself and what is nonself is crucial for a Three’s development. A Three must first of all turn inward, no easy task for one whose sense of self resides in her reflection in the eyes of others and who subordinates inner experience to outer achievements. She needs to stop long enough to begin to face her inner truth—herself as she is—and this is where the virtue of Point Three, veracity, comes into play. We find it on the Enneagram of Virtues in Diagram 1. Ichazo’s definition of veracity is as follows: “A healthy body can only express its own being; it cannot lie because it cannot be anything other than what it is.” The word veracity has a few different meanings, all of which are relevant to the transformation and development of a Three. It means devotion to the truth, the power to convey or perceive truth, accuracy in the sense of conforming to truth or fact, and something true. In the following, we will discuss some of the highlights of a Three’s inner journey to becoming an embodiment of truth. For a Three to become veracious in the sense of being devoted to the truth, which is one definition of spiritual work, she will have to see how she lies to herself. This is the beginning of being truthful. The first level of lie she will have to confront is her belief that she is what she does. Only by understanding how dependent her self-esteem is upon her performance can she seriously begin to step off the stage and deal with her inner life. This will mean facing how little value she has to herself if she is not achieving something, which in turn will reveal the underpinnings of that attitude—the formative factors in her early childhood that left her with the conviction that she has no inherent value just as a person. She will probably have to reexperience how little real contact and love touched her soul as a child, and how the majority of attention she received was for her accomplishments, not for what she was feeling or even thinking about.
It brings up feelings of superficiality and shallowness, and is fertile ground for her superego to give her a very difficult time.
with familial and cultural ideals has been. She will see how profoundly she has molded herself into the form of those ideals, to the extent that there is little left of her outside of that shape. She may find that she does not really know what she herself wants or feels outside of what she thinks she should, and more troubling still, that she does not even know how to begin asking herself those questions.
Because of this, Threes may have the most objectively painful inner journey of all of the ennea-types. If the image is a lie, what else does she have? This is a very difficult inner confrontation. She also doesn’t feel that she can really rely on herself in this part of her inner terrain, because her sense of what is real and what is the truth is so changeable and untrustworthy.
The other problem that dogs her process is her knee-jerk tendency to want to see results right away. She wants what she is discovering about herself to be useful—she wants her development to help her in her work in the world or in her relationships. She tends to try to package it and market it so that she will make some kind of profit from it, either materially or in the form of accolades for being so spiritually evolved. Most of all, she wants some payoff, rather than having to face the chasm of her inner emptiness, which looks distinctly unrewarding.
ridiculous self-expectation, but for a Three, it is not. It is how she really feels deep down—the source of her feelings of failure and helplessness—whether conscious or not. Somewhere in her inner journey, this impossible demand on herself will have to emerge into consciousness and be seen for the absurdity that it is. She will see how all of her ceaseless doing has its roots in this vain attempt, in both senses of the word.
She will see that she has taken this emptiness where she has lost contact with her Essence to be who she is, and so she felt little choice but to flee from it and do everything she could to replicate what she had lost.
In time, all of the radiant colors and qualities of her essential nature will arise out of this inner space and display themselves in all their glory, like a cosmic peacock that her personality has been so busy imitating.
She will differentiate progressively from familial, societal, and cultural images and ideals, knowing where they stop and she begins.
She will find in time that she is not a someone who experiences Essence but that she is Essence. And little by little she will find herself feeling part of the fabric of the universe, a beautiful form within it, and will finally feel in harmony with the truth. She will become more and more of a real person, a conscious manifestation and embodiment of Being, and at long last she will really walk her talk—indeed becoming a Pearl Beyond Price.
(Holy perfection: the as-it-is-ness of all existence as right)
Without the filter of the subjective self, we see that all of existence has a quality of completeness, wholeness, and faultlessness just because it is. This sense of perfection that we experience when reality is seen through the lens of Holy Perfection is perhaps most closely conveyed by formulations borrowed from the traditions of the East: “isness” and “suchness.” In Zen Buddhism, this view of things is called kono-mama, which translates as the “as-it-is-ness of this,” or sono-mama, the “as-it-isness of that”; in Sanskrit the term is tathata, or “suchness”; and in Chinese it is chih-mo or shih-mo. Perceiving this “as-it-is-ness” of things is perceiving the fundamental nature of them. In other words, if we see things as they are, what we see is the inner nature as well as the outer form of them. Each manifestation in the universe, be it planet, tree, or person, is seen here to be continuous with and inseparable from the fundamental nature common to all forms, and that fundamental nature is seen to be just right. The outer shape of one flower may be more graceful than the one next to it, but that has nothing to do with each flower’s inherent rightness as it is, since both are manifestations of Being. From this perspective, to say that one flower is more perfect than another makes no sense.