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Cover — This Deafening Silence

This Deafening Silence

Me: I'm not complete. I'm not fulfilled. There are holes in me that need filling. I'm not quite good enough. I could be much better.

Tim Cliss · book · Seed

(Non-duality defined: no me, no everything else)

this book is about the ‘self’ center, the ‘me’,  the apparent ‘thing’ that makes one feel as though one is a  person with free will and choice.      When I am asked, “What is non-duality?” it is really quite  simple. Non-duality means there is no me, so there is no  everything else and it’s not replaced by anything - it’s  replaced by not knowing.    Duality on the other hand is very simple. It’s the sense that I  am separate, there’s me, and everything else.

Me:      I’m not complete.   I’m not fulfilled.   There are holes in me that need filling.   I’m not quite good enough.  I could be much better.     I don’t think I’ve met any selfs that feel that they’re complete  but I’ve met plenty who tell me they are.    There is a downside to the sense of completion because that  is what motivates me to work on myself. All motivation that I  have comes from that need for completion, that need for  wholeness, that need to feel good enough.    That sense of incompletion is what drives most human  beings, what drives most selfs to achieve. “If I achieve that,  that will complete me”. As you well know, that doesn’t work. It  does have a temporary effect of feeling more complete.     The sense of incompletion is inherent in the sense of self, is  inherently what I am.‘I

am’, the sense that I exist, and that  incompleteness are one and the same feeling. For a short  period you can rest and me feels great and can get some  peace - peace from that drive to feel complete. Peace from  me.  I

This whole message is trying to communicate that the sense  of incompletion is not true.     There isn’t a me that feels incomplete. The sense of  incompleteness and the sense of being me are one in the  same.

You’ve never known another. What you’ve called your  relationship to someone else is just how you feel about that  human being and what you think you know of that human  being.

This Deafening Silence

(Love that cannot be found because it already is)

The deafening silence of this love is why it’s usually missed. I    don’t know where those words come from, but it’s funny - it      appears, and it’s as though I read it after it’s appeared.     I think that’s how life naturally is. What we take as ‘my life’ is          always after the event, after the actuality, after the  appearance. So, my commentary, which is my reaction, is my      thoughts about it. It’s always after the event, after the  happening. And then I say what’s happened and what I did.      The actual happening, isn’t happening. We make it seemingly  happen by us talking about it, usually to ourselves!    It’s

The truth is that nothing is ever lost, only seemingly. The love  that you’re longing for, is a longing for completion, longing for    a wholeness which we can call love. A love that’s ever  present, that can’t be lost.     Love is all there is, but you can’t see it, you can’t find it, and  you can’t have it. It’s not I’ve seen it, I’ve not got it. I’ve not  found it. It’s not that anyone else has found it either, it’s that  it can be found - it’s that it Is.

am quite right to be terrified of emptiness because there’s  no place for me in empty. I have to stand apart as a  something - otherwise I’m nothing and nothing is terrifying.     It’s what you want most, but it’s what me wants least.  I know that doesn’t make any sense, it’s paradoxical.   If I think of the story of my death, let’s say it like it is - Tim  died, no one died.

I’m not saying you can lose personal power, you don’t have  any now. There is no you to have any. There never was, there  never is, there never could be.

The truth is, you’re not in charge of your life. And the constant  effort and energy to maintain the illusion of personal power is  where most suffering lies.     I’ve heard stories where, I am, the person, the sense of  personal power, just evaporates and is perfectly alright.     But I’m guessing most selfs wouldn’t go so quietly.

(No movement, no arriving — just home)

All roads lead here.    You never really move. There’s no movement. There’s no  getting here. There’s no leaving here. And there’s no here,  not one that you could find, anyway.    You could say that’s complete relaxation, isn’t it? Where am I  going to go? There’s nowhere to go. How did I get here? I  didn’t get here. Where am I? I don’t know.

You don’t know this. There’s no arriving and there’s no coming  home.    There’s just home.

I’m not saying that’s wrong, but I think it’s misleading  because it sounds like you could find awareness, that you  could find consciousness. That you could find the absolute.     No. This won’t be found. In order to find this, you’d have to  find nothing and everything.     Good luck with that…

It doesn’t mean you like it. It doesn’t mean you won’t say, “I  really find that disgusting”, it doesn’t mean that won’t happen,  but what it will mean is there’s complete forgiveness with no  one to forgive. It sounds paradoxical like most things in this  message, but with no one to forgive, there is a sense of utter  forgiveness.   What do you want most? You want to have peace. You want  to forgive those who have hurt you, but you can’t.      The peace that passes all understanding is when there is no  one to forgive and no one to do the forgiving.     There is no need for forgiveness. The lack of need for  forgiveness, weirdly, feels a lot like forgiveness.

(All thoughts equally empty — no getting this wrong)

Purity. Have you ever heard such a bullshit story in your life?    The beauty of this message is that no matter how filthy,  disgusting, depraved - abhorrent your thoughts, your  fantasies, your imagination, and your actions may be - they  are all equally empty. How wonderfully beautiful is that?     There is no getting this wrong.

There’s no moving to get home.     That’s the great dilemma when you’re looking for this.      And so you think, “Well, there’s nothing for me to do”. But  then of course, if you don’t feel that this is home then you go  off searching again, even in the most subtle way. That’s how  mekeeps the illusion alive - the illusion of being alive, me being alive. “I am alive. It’s my life”.     And in the seeming absence of mylife, there isn’t anything in  its place.

Source text is the author's, verbatim. The headings, grouping, and emphasis are mine, added for readability. — Chris

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