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He trusts that God, who dwells at the center of your being, whispers this wisdom and leads the way. He believes that you are God’s image-bearer, born to flourish, designed for significance and meaning and impact in your world.
Our decisions have the powerful role in forming and representing who we are. These apologies at least acknowledge the interconnectedness of our identity (being) and our decisions (doing). Such public failures remind me that on the other side of my sanctimony is a recognition that I too struggle with the idea of who I am, and make decisions that feel incongruent. I also find myself in situations in which, with hindsight, I feel regret or remorse about the encounter. At the risk of projection, I’d say we all do. The human experience is full of dissonance, where our behaviors seem mismatched with who we want to be.
It’s a glimpse of the internal tug of war we all wage: the battle between a persona and an authentic self. Our inability to grapple with identity leads us to make poor decisions.
We need to know who we truly are… and how to make good and wise decisions accordingly. Why is this so difficult? Why do we suffer from such confusion about who we are? There are probably a multitude of reasons, but three loom the largest: We lie to ourselves, often for very understandable reasons.
We are overwhelmed, which inhibits our ability to live with congruence. We’ve neglected our capacity to listen well, choosing to listen to the wrong voices.
We lie to ourselves. The Dutch Catholic priest Henri Nouwen wisely acknowledges our tendency for self-deceit, outlining the three lies of identity:8 I am what I do, I am what I have, and I am what others say about me. When we believe these lies, we live in some unhealthy ways. We devote ourselves to activities that aren’t true to who we are. We collect material possessions in hopes that they bring a sense of fulfillment. We cling to the approval of others. Our minds, hearts, and bodies search and scan for an elusive form of validation and approval. When we feel we’ve failed at this, we turn to contriving schemes and tweaking formulas to craft a better persona, one that is perhaps more effective at these things.
And despite our perpetual digital connectivity, adults in America are lonely. Since 1985, the number of Americans who report having no close friends has tripled.13 Living in a perpetual state of burnout, stress, and loneliness results in a lack of authentic identity void of any purpose and direction.
Parker Palmer, in his profound book Let Your Life Speak, writes, “We listen for guidance everywhere except from within.”
He writes: The soul is like a wild animal—tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy. If we want to see a wild animal, the last thing we should do is to go crashing through the woods, shouting for the creature to come out. But if we are willing to walk quietly into the woods and sit silently for an hour or two at the base of a tree, the creature we are waiting for may well emerge, and out of the corner of an eye we will catch a glimpse of the precious wildness we seek.15 In our current state, we don’t have much time and space for soul work. Such inner work requires a different sort of listening. It requires a different pace of life. It requires an honesty with ourselves that can seem scary. But to avoid who we truly are and continue living otherwise is actually scarier. If we lie to ourselves long enough, we start to forget what’s true. We overwhelm ourselves and wonder if we can sustain the pace.
We are desperate for discernment, searching for wisdom to make good decisions. This requires a sacred journey to authentic identity, demanding a different pace than our calendar apps typically allow. Workaholism, stress, and loneliness aren’t very helpful places from which to make decisions. What would it look like to live free of them? What if we reconsidered the question, What should I do with my life? May Sarton captures the journey well:
AI Summary
The Enneagram of Discernment by Drew Moser and Chuck DeGroat presents key insights from the Gurdjieff tradition. The 10 passages above capture the essential teachings.
Core Themes:
- [To be expanded]
Key Passages: Highlights 1, 3, and 10 are particularly representative.
This entry was generated from Readwise highlights. Expand with additional context as appropriate.