Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. 5
SELF LOVE You are the cause of all your frustrations. Once you have sorted out yourself, the cause, the effects take care of themselves.
Eat good food: living foods, raw foods, superfoods, organic foods, sprouted foods, fresh fruit/ vegetable juices and smoothies. NO acidic foods: coffee, bread, dairy, cakes, biscuits, canned foods etc. Let go of these now as they clog up your system and prevent higher frequencies entering, as well as mask emotional addictions by stuffing them down and comforting them, rather than exposing and healing them, which is the truly loving action to do.
This is known as a Ring-Pass-Not, a vibrational barrier or octave that prevents us from fully Being Love. This is why so few people manage to sustain the frequency of unconditional love, for it is made doubly hard by this DNA distortion and energy cage. Using technology rather than love, these reptilian entities are totally self-reliant and ‘independent’ of God through their own choice and wound.
After experiencing sexual and energetic abuse, we can abandon God, blaming Him for not protecting us, saying, “fuck you” to God. And then we become lost, trying to fill a hole for thousands of years, alternating between being the victim of it, and then becoming the initiator of it, becoming the abuser. We replay and continue this ancient pattern within us, cutting ourselves off from God, unwilling and too scared to feel the deep pain of betrayal and abandonment.
The energy, power, stimulation, thrill, arousal and excitement that comes from sexual energy (and violence and fear) is enormous. It is an extremely addictive drug sensation, destructive to the soul as it has no love to it.
The energy of control inherent within this is actually our own fear of becoming powerless and helpless, which is what we must all feel to initiate this breaking of the pattern within us, because it is the causal emotion of why we reached out to these other entities in the first place. So there is our personal responsibility, AND a collective one as well.
To retrieve our original Divine design, our original innocence, requires all these steps. You have to be fully conscious of this choice every day, to align to and follow Divine Truths, and then feel the ways you have betrayed love and your soul until it is felt on all levels of your being.
And part of our soul is lying in shame and unworthiness that we have been trying to heal for thousands of years, but never have. We could never explain that feeling, could never understand it. No one could ever tell you what it is. It is like a black cloud over your soul, that no matter what you did, you could never heal it, and so you contracted, and you became smaller and smaller. That is the web we have weaved. And that is what this whole planet is living in, this artificial reality.
You can choose to own it, or you can struggle along and try and create a manageable existence, creating lots of coping mechanisms and strategies to get along, adapt and conform, to survive in this artificial reality, creating beliefs, emotional deceptions, intellectual deceptions. God has given you free will, so only you can choose anew, afresh, something different now. This is a big choice to own. And it is the foundation of any deep healing. So it is your choice. To make the choice to go to God. For such a big thing, you cannot do it alone. You need God to help you; this has to become the deepest desire and need you have, for everything else in your life that you have created in error is an effect of you not having that Divine Love. All your stories are an effect of not having this in your life.
ATTACHMENTS BOUND TO IDEAS OF LOVE Getting entangled in names and forms, structures and hierarchies is part of the Lucifer pattern. Identifying with these beliefs prevents the free flowing of a love that has no attachment to it. This is why several teachers advocate viscerally and graphically imagining your partner having sex with someone else and still loving them, so as to break the attachment into this pure love.
Asking for Divine Love, and being specific about what you ask for, removes piece by wounded piece all the veils we have created. Meeting Divine Love in this way gives you the most beautifully devastating moments of your life. Is it worth it to have your heart shattered? Is it worth it to have the lies removed from a beautiful heart? Is it worth it to open the heart yet again in its naked, soft exposed way? 47 Unifying both love for your soul and Divine Love means one has to totally love yourself, which is treating yourself as God treats you, through these Divine laws. How does God treat you? Can you treat yourself like that? This is a big topic!
Part of this movement is the paradigm of avoiding pain at all costs, and negating any need to dig deep into your shadow emotions, instead stressing joy and oneness as the only things that need to be felt, and forget all else. Those who do this have the biggest shadows and most fear lying within them, and can easily be triggered with a few simple questions. The paradox is that Lucifer is judged and vilified as being dark and evil, whereas many of the people stuck in this pattern pretend that this dark doesn’t exist, especially within themselves! The mantra is, ‘Can’t we just choose the light? Always act loving? Then there won’t be any room for shadow if we don’t put our attention on it, if our thought forms don’t energize it, right? Just think positive, right? Must we really dive into painful feelings? Do we have to feel them, can’t we just forgive them and move on?’ This is the reason why many people’s development stops, and it is an insidious distortion of what love actually is. People think that by controlling their conscious thoughts and emotions they can escape their own shadow (by ignoring it), but our shadow emotions and beliefs lie in the souls wounds, and this is what determines our frequency, our law of attraction, and what can truly flow through us. Our frequency is determined by how much shadow has been honestly recognized, embraced and cleared by us.
Then it will become immediately clear! We do not have to pretend to be anyone, and we no longer have to run from ANYTHING! 48
And it is true that Divine Love brings up all that is not love, and in the process brings up all this pain, patterns and shadow. The Lucifer pattern is our deepest pain and suffering.
pattern — it tempts, shows and tells but offers no relief, rather it offers superficial, well packaged, enticing feel good distractions, quick fixes, miracle cures and alluring pleasures within its self enclosed pattern. Each trick just leads one back to the same point of beginning, like a maze that has no exit.
Life stuck in the effects of Lucifer’s pattern is like a hamster running on a spinning wheel in a transparent cage. The hamster runs around its wheel, enjoying the view, able to look outside of the cage but never to leave.
The avoidance of journeying into the pains of separation, and all the ways we have created it, are all deep emotions. These emotions, once felt, carve out the pathway of return into our sovereign heart-soul, and back into our sovereign connection to God. The brilliance of mind and consciousness is secondary to this all-powerful love.
If there was a Fall, it was not just Lucifer’s original departure from God, but our subsequent refusal to acknowledge the creation of this pathway of the sacred wounds, and the consequences for our own evolution. (For more, read The Christ Blueprint.)
The Ofanim note: “When Lucifer comes back, he begins the return with those he brought down. The Lord of Light has made many attempts in the past to reunite with the Absolute. Always through Man’s unknowing and unforgiving has he remained tied to the material plane.” 49
Form and individuality are not a barrier to God, but something to be enjoyed as part of God.
Our awareness and minds become light-soaked, as peace enters our deepest, darkest places in the density of matter. Matter ceases to be heavy in this, rather becoming fluid in our experience. The Sun warms, illuminates, enlightens and bathes in living light all things, whilst Earth holds, soothes and creates a living
The Matrix
The wounds were created because we have chosen to not follow Divine laws, and in not following them penalties are involved. In one sense you are all Lucifer, creating your own laws and ways of doing things that work for you in navigating the artificial reality you have constructed around the idea of your separation from Divine Love.
Lucifer is not a bad guy or a good guy. He represents that part of you caught in the matrix of your own perceptions, built upon the false information and veiled feelings of your soul wounds. You have created your own version of this matrix, and because you have forgotten that you have created it, you became lost in it.
You have created your own kingdom separate from Divine Love, and live by its rules, thinking you are free. You have forgotten the laws governing the matrix upon which your smaller matrix is built. Now you can remember it and see, in total clarity, how your life actually is, rather than what you hope or intend it to be.
The Matrix is finite and the end date of it is when you become Soul-Realised in Original Innocence once again. That is when it ends for you, and that is all a soul has to do. That is the reason you are here. You are not here for any other reason. There is no other purpose to life. The ‘end of the world’ is the end of your world of separation from God.
Anger, pride, defensiveness, constriction, confusion, humiliation, doubt, shame, unworthiness, resentment, rage, guilt, neediness, self-punishment, punishment of others, wanting to give up, blame of self, blame of others, excessive thinking and other surface thoughts and emotions mask our fears, which we try and cover over with our Substitutes, addictions and needs, which mask our Fears, denials and unwillingness to be vulnerable and feel PAIN Avoiding Pain is the bane of the human condition
Submit to being weak, humble and vulnerable. Submit to the real feelings — surrender to them. Our greatest fears are being POWERLESS and OUT OF CONTROL, which in turn mask our CAUSAL WOUNDS of GRIEF RELATED DEEP EMOTIONS OF FELT SEPARATION From YOUR PURE SOUL and GOD
FEAR Feeling our fears, and really allowing them to be fully present and embodied in our system, without hesitation, but actually praying to feel it, leads the way to the deeper causes of our emotional wounds and errors that have yet to be felt.
All the emotions that you have not dared to feel now arise, BUT they have always been there within you; they are just now revealed.
When we leave an emotion out from being felt, we create a whole strategy and this strategy leads us further away from truth and Divine Love. It becomes more complicated and more layers are created. But it is the fear of feeling the fear that creates all the complications.
It is like we enter in a wider, bigger reality, because fear in its very nature is contracting and can be felt by feeling and acting small. Obviously negative spirits feed on this emotion the most. This is their greatest food. The only way to release the hold that these spirits have on you is go into that pure emotion of fear and allow it to take you down through all the layers, and then find your experiential personal fear. This personal fear is what the spirits are resonating with and amplifying. They are plugging into it because you are too afraid of feeling this fear, which they also share.
It is much wiser to go deeply for a couple of years and reach At-one-ment with God than to stay on the surface your whole life, perpetually living under fear rather than bringing it up to be felt and released.
We have all thought, and are so proud, that we are so self-reliant: ”I am my own master, look at me, I can create whatever I like, I don’t need God.’ ‘Who is this God? I will create my own laws.’ What is this talk about Divine Love? I love my partner, my family, my kids, that’s love, right?’ And you are doing that, all the time, in your head. You are creating your own laws or truths all the time.
Powerlessness is what you are really scared of. Dying physically is easy, one second, boom! But the real fear is being completely powerless, because then you have to feel, and then die to all the fear, control and pain that creates who you think you are; your mask, your defenses. That is the scary thing.
That is why it is good to spend regular amounts of time, everyday, alone, so you can see and feel everything. You will be able to feel the subtlety and power of your soul, for your soul desires to feel it all. In alone time, your soul will know/feel a particular issue, and the feeling can be totally felt.
This wounded self wants to survive at all costs, and for the soul to be with God is the most frightening thing for this self as there is no space for it to live, control and maneuver in this. It becomes a servant to the soul, and the soul becomes a servant to God. The masked and wounded separate self wishes to be the master, not the servant.
All that you think you want RIGHT NOW will seem to be a little toy, like a childish dream, when you start to really dive into the awesome nature of true Divine Love.
PAIN The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new Self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain. 51
Turn towards, ask for, invite, welcome and pray to feel all the pain and harm you have caused and given to others, the pain and harm you have received from others, and the pain and harm you have inflicted on yourself. This will bring you back to Truth, not the hole in your soul you think is truth. Innocence arises from harmlessness. All suffering serves to cut away the dross from the gold of your soul. The substance of your suffering becomes the fuel for the transformation of the substance of your soul. From a finite and mortal state your soul transforms, on a base level, into an infinite, immortal light.
Deep inside agony and pain lies sweetness, a devastating beauty that brings the flame of your soul closer into the burning fire of God. Only those who venture deep into such uncharted territories and darkness find light and the luminous treasures of the free and sovereign soul.
Only the brave, humble, deeply desirous and loving can enter these realms and walk through them, to emerge hand in hand with God, Who is ever smiling on all our weaknesses, ever caring, ever patient, ever desiring you to return to the greatest love a soul can ever know and desire.
The thoughts, ‘I should not have to suffer, I do not want pain, this is an illusion, there has to be another way, I will try that,’ is at the root of all suffering. These thoughts are the rot of your soul, the false information of your unfelt wounds speaking, trying to get you to shy away from your great inner treasures, the treasures that are the map of your road to Divine Love.
Needs And Substitutes For God
All addictions are harmful, whether physical, sexual, emotional, or spiritual, and can involve people, sex, relationships, drugs, alcohol, busyness and spirit influences, amongst many others. Addictions are your direct avoidance of unhealed emotions, and the result of not taking personal responsibility. Addictions operating between partners at the emotional level all relate to childhood emotions and can be further veiled by spirit influence and the amplified fears they generate. All addictions must be healed in order to continue to receive Divine Love to the point of At-one-ment with God.
And it is a very high and pure frequency but it’s also completely detached from any suffering or wounds, so there is not necessarily sympathy or emotions that you may want; they are purely compassionate but not always in a comforting way. And you can’t quite relate to it, from human experience. Even experiencing one of those spirits, just feeling them, is an education in itself, because they are completely out of the realm of wounds and suffering.
These things keep us in the world for the purpose of our healing. When healed, there is no longer anything left that we need from the world, for we are fulfilled by Divine Love, overflowing into our human love. God loves us perfectly and gives us everything we need in order to come to Him. His is a Perfect Love, revealed through His Divine Laws or Divine Truth. We choose to ignore this, and instead create and vociferously stand by our own ‘truth,’ viewpoints and values, as it feels empowering, validating to our façade, and is celebrated and lauded by others as ‘self-affirming or self-empowering’. But which self is this?
Following this One Truth will bring you the joy and freedom you desire. Your personal truth, no matter how you feel it in this moment, will never bring you Real joy, happiness and freedom until it becomes subsumed into God’s Truth. And this is a healing journey of honesty and deep courage, a courage to be weak and soft, a courage to surrender to your deeper emotions, a courage to submit to your real feelings underneath your constructed personal truths. The basis for your personal truths are largely uninvestigated material in your soul, built as a reaction to not wishing to feel certain wounds, therefore building strategies around these wounds to cope and continue in life without having to feel the fear and vulnerability around it. All defensiveness is defending the façade and woundings of yourself.
‘why did this upset me so much?’ And then, and only then, can the truth of the fear, grief, helplessness be felt, and one can feel how all the arguments are in vain; a defence with no ground. When the feelings behind these personal truths that ‘justified’ their creation are felt, then they can be known as denials of a greater Truth and love that is waiting for us as we let go of our personal truths and surrender to The One Truth.
And, at a certain time, the mind will cease to have any impact on your soul’s growth, and the developing of the soul’s perceptions or the soul’s silent mind will completely take over to allow you to receive more Divine Love. Do not think or become stuck in the thoughts and false desires of the rewards and happiness that might come to you here on Earth. Earth is a temporary passing point, one train station amongst many on a long line on the journey home. Why stay at the station when you have an ultimate destination? There are much greater rewards to be had. This is why it does not matter too much about the physical body living or dying, because the soul still progresses and in fact, in many cases, can progress more quickly when purely in spirit form as the reality of the state of the soul is laid bare.
In the prayer, one starts to develop a more continuous awareness of how one is ignoring, leaving out and violating Divine Truths, and how one is still choosing to live in ones wounds, with all the effects of this.
Of course, then the mind will be able to recognize new choices and it will then be educated on the different choices it can make — personal truth or Divine Truth. And then you can make a conscious and educated choice, which is the correct use of free will, whereas a lot of the time right now you are making choices in ignorance because you are just not aware.
God, help me fully feel the holes in my soul that I deny and avoid, every single day
SPIRITS WHAT ARE SPIRITS?
One of the key obstacles, and aides, in our soul progress are other spirits. Spirits influence our lives to a great degree in distracting us and trying to harm us, as well as trying to help us. They are one of the biggest obstacles on the path because, unlike physical people, we can’t see them.
Spirits, or entities as many call them today, are simply souls without a physical body living in other dimensions, and you too one day will become a spirit in this sense when you leave your physical, visible body and move into your soul form. Spirits have emotions, feelings, thoughts and perceptions, just like we do here on earth, and continue to grow, or not, in the spirit world.
Negative spirits are attracted by your wounds, by your vulnerabilities and holes in your aura and soul created by addictions, fears, denials, betrayals, abandonments, judgments unforgiven issues, mistrust, and our separations from Truth and Love, and the Divine Laws we have broken. These spirits resonate and share similar wounds to you and gravitate towards you, just like your share similar interests with your human friends.
For example, if you have a tendency towards drinking, an alcoholic spirit may encourage you to drink so he can vicariously live out his own addiction. The same with the sex addict, the drug taker, the sex abuser, the spirit angry with men, the spirit angry with women and men, the spirit prone to violence, despair or numbness from feeling anything, same with a spirit who is very scared and feels the same frequency of fear within you. Aha, a friend!
It is a blessing in a way, because then you can really see your wounds, and where your holes lie that allow them into you, as their arrival might really exaggerate the symptoms of your wound and play out through you in destructive, crippling or contracting ways. So it forces you to really look at your stuff and heal it fast.
Some of the effects that happen with spirit influence are that you might hear voices, suggesting strange things and bizarre ideas, asking you to act on strange and often nonsensical impulses and useless logic. You may recognise and know ’ that’s not me, why am I doing this,’ and there may be other alien and strange thoughts, murderous thoughts, self-harming thoughts, thoughts to harm others, projective thoughts, strong feelings that match your own but become more intense, dramatic and exaggerated in many ways.
Negative spirit influence can also manifest as heavy feelings, draining feelings, being exhausted suddenly around people, and being unable to stay awake or present when being presented with certain spiritual information or transmissions in seminars or workshops, or attempting to go into certain emotions. (There may be other reasons for some of these too.) Often times, we feel the truth of information being given to us but do not put it into action, feeling too lazy or heavy, or finding many other more mundane, ‘practical’ things to do EXCEPT THIS, the most important.
The answer is awareness and deep desire for Truth and Divine Love. Going into ALL your own feelings rather than running away from or avoiding them is the only way that these spirits will leave you.
Spirit influence is very common, and is happening all the time for most people; usually between 8 and 10 spirits are operating on you most of the time. You are simply not aware of it. Just like you can be influenced by your parents and friends, so there are spirits that also influence you. So the spirit is an effect, your wound is the cause. I have experienced millions of spirits being present with me at certain times; at other times it could be none.
This is the battle for the soul. These types of evil spirits do not want you to heal your wound because then they have nobody to feed on and live through. So it is your responsibility. It is like saying, ‘thank you for triggering my wound, now I have to go and feel
into that wound that attracted you’. So these spirits are triggers for you to see the true state of your soul and its wounds, which when felt will lead you to God.
Being in harmony with Divine Truth and Divine laws is protection against all negative spirits. Willingness and desire for Divine Love and Divine Truth allows the greatest protection. In living in this, your auric field is totally protected and smooth, for love is our greatest and in fact only protection, and this smoothness, roundedness or feel of evenness in inner harmony is also a very definite feeling you have within your soul once it is clear enough. Only you will know this as you come into greater alignment with the purity of your soul.
Spirits cannot harm you. They can only harm you through your own terror and unwillingness to feel your own grief or other emotions. Face the terror and emotion, and they cannot touch you anymore. It may be useful to trace back the emotional times and events that spirits may have first entered you, and why. In seeing this, one can come to see the hooks that spirits can enter you through, and then pray to fully feel it.
When God forgives, error disappears, only Love exists, and this Love in its fullness is the fulfilling of the law. There remains nothing in you upon which this law can operate, and you are no longer its slave or subject.
When you have your phones, Internet, TV, families, children, partners, career, socializing, clubs, bars, what time is there for God? What time is there to pray? What time is there to feel? Not much. Most of the day is gone.
In the film ‘The Passion of Christ’, where Christ undergoes his torture, he stayed in Divine Laws and Truth all the time; he did not move from them, even when he was offered many opportunities to leave them. He did not recognise or bow to any other law on any other level. He was perfect in living them.
We can feel that we have been betrayed and abandoned; denied and judged, morally wronged. As we uncover and feel these emotions within us, we get closer and closer to following Divine Laws, as our wounds and pain around all the times we have not followed Divine Laws and violated them fades away. Then we become more humble, softer and our priority shifts from what appears to be important for the mind of the world, to what is Real. Nothing of this world seems so important anymore as we shift into Divine Laws and we shift into Being and less doing.
If I Am to learn of God, of Love, I MUST — at all times and under all conditions — turn to the place that has NEVER entered Separation, that has NO INTEREST in ego at all, and is utterly surrendered to the guidance of the One Guide given to us all.